Straight from the Heart...

Fairytales are so romantic. Each one of us has had their mum reading them bedtime stories. A beautiful princess meets her prince. The prince woos the lady. He floors her, gifts her, compliments her, makes her feel loved, they both forget everyone and everything around them- living happily ever after. And so we start living our own fairytale from childhood. Our entire life, we spend each day in pursuit of love and that one person who we can spend our life with. A life where the prince would adore his princess, where he would make her feel 'the' most important, where he would just be there for her. A life which the princess had always dreamt of.

Families in our world are crazy. Our entire life we are made to believe in love, in adoration, in respect, in happily ever afters. We are made to believe in a prince. We are made to believe by our parents that 'girls are their daddy's and mommy's princesses'. That one fine day a knight in shining armour will appear infront of them from no where and will sweep them off their feet to take them to a faraway wonderland. A wonderland where everything will be pretty and where the princess will live with his prince happily ever after.

And so we dream. We wait. We are patient. We seek. We spend each day in pursuit of love. We look around and our eyes wander looking for that one person who can be the prince. My prince. My prince who would treat me like a princess.

The prince makes the princess fall in love with him. He sweeps her off her feet. OMG, life is so beautiful. Thank God for all the years the princess waited for her prince. This is 'my' happily ever after. It finally has arrived. The prince proposes and they get married. They would make sweet love to each other, have fun together, do things that the princess has never done before, go out for lunches, dinners, around the world, meet friends, show off her prince to the world, make the world jealous of how she is so deeply loved and adored by the man of her dreams, and give birth to beautiful children, reading them the fairytale which stars their own 'parents'.

And suddenly we wake up. We wake up to the noise of doorbells, maids, utensils, in-laws, alarm clocks, microwaves, pressure cookers, crying kids, car honks. Whoa!!! This is not the sweet song in my fairytale. My fairytale was different. It was beautiful. It had sweet lullabies. It was not noisy. It was not work. It was not sleepless nights. It was not tiring. It was not this.

The princess wakes up at 6 a.m., sometimes to put on the geyser, and sometimes to open the door for the maid. The princess makes breakfast for her prince. She gets ready to go to the office, takes care of the kid, sends him/her to school, completes all her household chores, tidies the place, works her a** off in the office, works out in the gym (sometimes when she has the energy), meets friends/people, shops from the market, goes home, cooks dinner, cleans the kitchen, folds the clothes after washing, gives them for ironing, look pretty for her husband, have great sex with him even if she is tired and then maybe sleep at 1 in the night only to wake up at 6 next morning.

She does all this and more. But for what? This does not seem like a fairytale. But still she does it for her entire life. Just for one glance by her prince which says that she is loved and adored by the man she married. For those few words of appreciation which say that even if she is not perfect she is still great. For that one moment where the prince holds her in his arms just to tell her how much he loves her. For that one moment where her prince tells her that she is the prettiest lady he has ever laid his eyes on. For that one moment where he would thank her for all she does and apologise for all those moments where he has fought with her and made her feel weak and unloved. She does all this so that the prince notices that even after being imperfect, she tries hard to keep him happy. She does all this because despite her unfulfilled fairytale, she wants to live this fairytale with her prince. She does all this because she left her pampering parents and siblings to be with the man she trusted would now pamper her and take care of her.

Sometimes, Tiffanys', Chanels' and Diors' cannot do what a few kind words of appreciation can. Because someone famous once said - "There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about".

(P.S: The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little ‘extra’ every day, as often as possible, for as long as we both shall live!!)

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/married.html#BTAWhFBDIsJI98cT.99

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/married.html#BTAWhFBDIsJI98cT.99

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/married.html#BTAWhFBDIsJI98cT.99

Bed(dy) Delights !!

With office hours getting late and hectic, most couples look forward to spending the weekend together. Going out, shopping, movie, clubbing etc etc is something that each one of us looks forward to. How about spending this sunday at home !! 

Weekend's near, so I thought why not give you all a few of my favorite recipes to try at home and relish them together (in bed). Easy to cook and honestly, Impeccably Delectable !!!

This one can be taken with your morning tea/coffee. I prefer taking it with Iced Tea. You can either make it at night and keep it in your refrigerator overnight, which will save you time in the morning. All you would need for this would be Monaco Biscuits, plain/crunchy Peanut Butter, Marshmallows (from your local candy store) and Nutella (calorie conscious can skip this).

Now all you have to do is, spread a layer of peanut butter on the biscuit and top it with a marshmallow. Garnish the marshmallow with a lil' bit of nutella and put it in the oven/microwave for a minute (can skip, I like the chilled version). Your Marguerites are ready.

Time for some breakfast. How about some Pasta Salad. Healthy and Luscious....

1. You would need your favorite pasta (mine is Penne). Boil it and drain it. Keep it aside to cool.

2 For making the dressing, you would need Mayonnaise (calorie conscious can buy the diet mayo, easily available), 2-3tbs of cold milk, chilli sauce (the one served with momos is the best) and 2 tbs of white vinegar. Mix all these three together to form a smooth paste. Add salt and pepper to taste.

3. Next you need is grape sized deseeded tomatoes (cut into half), boiled potatoes (can skip), boiled boneless chicken (paneer for vegetarians), boiled corn, capsicum, finely chopped basil leaves and gouda cheese cut into small cubes (you can take your fav variety) and basil leaves.

4. Add all of the above mentioned ingredients (except basil) to the boiled and cooled pasta. Mix it well. Now drizzle in the dressing. Top with lavishly with the chopped basil leaves. You can also add a few drops of lemon juice to make it tangy.

Your Pasta is ready to eat.

Lemme know if you like both of these culinary delights...

I think all you guys should give your ladies a break this weekend and surprise them with your culinary skills. Who know what she might surprise you with !!

(P.S: This weekend, stay at home and let spices and chocolates do the talking, or not !! )

Rediscovering Yourself !!!

Being a single amongst so many of your married friends does make you feel alone at times. There are times when people ask you the reason of being alone. There are times when you look at the happy couple and wonder whatever happened to your happy ending. At times, you feel as if life did take a wrong turn for you or maybe you took a wrong path. At times, when I see my closest friend putting red nail paint and baking for her husband, it does bring a tear in my eye. Not because I don't like her doing that but because I want to do the same for someone.

When I look at the photographs of a friend travelling and circling the world with her better half, it makes me see only the joys of marriage. When I look at my friend's son, him beaming with laughter, all I see is the gleam in the eyes of the parents and their love for each other. When I look at a friend putting up statuses for her husband asking him to reassure her of his love for her, I see a kid with hope in her eyes who is craving for love and I see a husband laughing at the status and bringing flowers for her.

When I look at my friend watching football matches and shouting and supporting Manchester United from the rooftops, I see a loving wife who does not understand football, cheering on top of her voice. When I see a friend working out in the gym, I see a husband who is proud of his wife. When I see a friend fighting over the phone complaining about how little time her husband gives her, I see a husband wanting to take his wife out for dinner and holding her hand, walking on the dimply lit street.

When I see a friend crying, I see the husband kissing her forehead, holding her tight and putting her head on his shoulder. When I see a couple fighting, I see them walking up to each other in the midst of the night because they do not want to be alone. When I see a couple working hard, I see their commitment to be with each other, their undying love for each other.

When I see a friend going out shopping with her husband, I see the husband nagging but still offering suggestions to her because he'd rather be with her nagging than be somewhere else without her. When I see a couple ignoring each other, I see two people dying inside to go hug the other person and say 'I am sorry'. When I see a couple not talking to each other after a fight, I see two people wanting to rush to the other one and kiss them.

I've heard people saying that marriage changes you. And I have heard people telling me that marriage changes you, for good. People say it's a fight. I say what in life is not a fight. Each day we are struggling with our own insecurities, some of which break us. What better way to fight those insecurities than with a person who loves you and wants to share each passing day of their life with you. Marriage does not fall apart. It's when two people give up on each other, marriage seems like a burden.

We fight with our parents, our siblings almost daily. But we don't give up on them because we love them and the thought of being away from them scares us. A good relationship is like your career. You have to put in effort, start from the scratch, take courses, keep yourself updated, willing to stay up all night because you want to impress, slog it out until you've got it right, complain and nag at times, but still love it. Just like you make it far from an Executive to the Director in the course of your career, you do the same in your marriage, with a lot of  love, a lot of honesty and an equal amount of understanding. It is only when we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.

(P.S: Love in marriage should be the accomplishment of a beautiful dream, and not, the end !!)


  

Crisis Of Masculinity !!!

Just when we were mourning over the loss of the lives of 20 children in Connecticut, and if that wasn't enough for a while, we are presented with another shocker. We can install as many CCTV's as we want, we can preach the females to dress up properly (I have absolutely no clue what that means) as much as we would like, we could instill values in our kids from the time they are born, we can listen to our politicians giving free speeches on national TV or we could ask women to stay within the confines of their homes all day long (why make it post 8 too!). But we cannot help but ask ourselves that one question which we all fear asking: Where are we headed as a society??

We have taught our women and even expect them to work as equals with men. We expect them to be self sufficient and independent. We expect them to be well educated and go-getters. But all this and more before 8p.m in the night and in clothes that do not provoke perverts. Because, we as a nation of more than a million people cannot stop men from raping women.

How as a society we grew so advanced in producing rapists and heinous men? How did we advance to a level where we have become normalized towards tolerating such appalling crimes against females? Why do we expect women to be bold and confident which in turn promotes a sense of insecurity and instability in men? Why does the sight of a young smartly-dressed educated female generate a sense of displacement in men? Why do women always have to appear vulnerable to a man's eye or she would be made to see an agitated male deprived of his masculinity? Why is it that we are unable to answer a deeply rooted societal problem? 

We can formulate laws and publicly execute the ones responsible for such hideous acts. We can light candles at India Gate to fast track such cases. We can post status updates and we can forward chain letters to the Chief Minister. We can also write blog posts about it or we can shout from rooftops about the incapabilities of our government to punish the criminals. We can advocate and preach our women to be safe and take precautions when travelling alone or in groups. We can do all this and more. But the fact remains: will these acts stop producing rapists in our society? Will this help us feel safe in our so called male dominated society?

More laws will only give us a false sense that something is being done, when very little is being done. We need to move forward as a society and have to stop looking at women empowerment as a threat to mankind. We need to stop raising sons with a false sense of superiority and being the privileged one. Because we can punish the accused in this case but what happens to the physical violence and rapes committed by men daily in the confines of their homes.

It is time for us to recognize how we as a society are implicated in producing the very individuals who are perpetrating such repulsive crimes against women, and to start taking responsibility for bringing it to an end.

(P.S: So many Gods, so many creeds. So many paths that wind and wind. While just the art of being kind is all this sad world needs!!)

Is Trust Truly Timeless !!!

Life they say is touch and go. You sometimes miss it even with the blink of an eye. And sometimes you are so engrossed in it that you do not see the other things around you. Things that might not hold importance but they end up hurting you.

Trust, a five letter word, but something that my dad said, takes years to build and seconds to ruin. But he also added one thing to this: we live in a society where breaking trust is considered more invigorating than building it. Who the hell cares about spending years to build it!!

In times of instant messaging and mails on the move, who has time to spend in getting to know someone, waste more time on building relationships when one can happily go ahead and have a drink at a bar and get picked up. Or better still, build relationships where your friend ends it with someone. Easy to pick, no time required to be wasted in getting to know them 'coz you already are aware of everything, leaves you with no guilt 'coz your friend's relationship with that person is over. You just happened to be there at the right place and at the right time (or so you think).

Two best friends since childhood, spent majority of their lives happily shopping, talking, eating, relaxing, dancing, singing and a lot of other things that made them happy. They went to the same school, ate the same stuff, wore similar clothes, had a lot of common friends, and moreover nothing could break the bond they shared. It was a fairytale written by angels themselves.

As time flew by, they both started growing young. Although a lot similar, they grew up to be a lot different. They still liked to hang out together, still ate similar food, still wore similar clothes, shared everything with each other 'coz it made them happier. They used to be happy seeing the other one happy. When they smiled, the world smiled with them. Proud daughters of their parents, they were 'love and bonding personified'. They excelled in everything they did. If one excelled in studies, the other fared equally well in extra curricular. If one was daddy's daughter, the other was the 'apple of her mother's eye'. Everyone around them was inspired to be like them.

They went to diiferent cities to pursue their education. They spoke over gtalk and skype for as long as 4 in the morning. Sometimes, even wrote letters to each other on pink, musk and vanilla flavored letter sheets in colored and sparkle pens which they knew the other would treasure for life. They missed being with each other. But with all India free calling, they knew which prepaid connection to take. When they were not skyping, there were texting. It became a routine for them . Keeping the other updated about their life in a different city. They discussed the men in their lives with as much interest as they discussed operations management. They discussed make-up as if they were discussing God of small things by Arundhati Roy. They were happy that the exams were done away with and they would be finally together. Just like old times.

And they finally met after spending 2 years apart. They still were a house on fire until they moved to different cities to work. Though the time they spent together reduced considerably, they still loved each other. They saw a lot of twists and turns in life during the next 1 year. One of them (lets call her S) broke up with her boyfriend of a few years. The other one (lets call this one A) was there trying to make her happy; taking her out shopping, dining, salons etc etc. 'A' was being the nicest one could imagine. The boyfriend was history by now. 'S' felt better, looked better and was able to work better. But something had changed. Something, 'S' couldn't figure out. Something that put a wall between the two of them. Something which made them drift apart.

What could it be? 'S' wished she could put a finger on it. She wished she could undo time. She wished she could see through her. She wished she could relive those moments with her. She wished they could be best friends again. She wished they could talk endlessly again. She wished she had never gone away from her. She blamed herself for whatever had gone wrong. Little did she know that her best friend, her soulmate, her younger sister 'A' was dating her ex boyfriend.

Guilt free and no holds barred, 'A' did everything that could break one's trust in the bond of sisterhood. Everything that goes against the sanctity of the relationship. Trust and honesty is an investment you put in people. I put all my investment in you. You chose to value your investments more than mine. Trust, a five letter word, which takes years to build and seconds to ruin.

(P.S.: I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you!!)

(Dis)Unity In Diversity !!

I have been meaning to write this for quite a while now. I am sure most of us open our Facebook pages even before we can open our eyes properly early morning. I too do the same, with my Blackberry doing the ninja back flip at times. It's always a happy feeling when you read about happy and pleasant stuff that makes you smile. Who wants to wake up to posts that torment us early morning.

A glimpse at my Facebook wall today and all I can see is the walls people have put up between them. Walls that divide us. Walls that keep us apart. Walls that everyone talks about but no one does anything to break them. Walls that act as barriers. Walls that we all wish weren't there. Walls that maybe one day will go down. Walls that we know by the names of Religion, Caste, Status, Regions, Politics, Corruption, Jihad, and a lot more which I might not be able to think right now.

A song sung by apna Assamese singer in the upcoming movie 'Barfi' made you so happy that you decided to call yourself a proud Assamese rather than a proud Indian. An article on the screening of a movie by a historical figure from Assam sends the state in a state of surface pleasantry. People as young as 24 posts statuses about giving them a separate state and a separate identity and not call them 'Indians'. North Easterns want to return to their homeland to be safe in their own country. Their only plea - not to treat them as 'chinkis' and not to take their promiscuous girls with oriental features as 'sl**s'. Is that too much to ask from their own countrymen?
 
The Indian Muslim community is caught in a catch-22 situation. If they go against the grain and fully integrate themselves with the mainstream (this is not to say they don’t try; many do) they risk being alienated by their own community. On the other hand, staying with the fold means subjecting themselves to the dogmas of the clergy.

All of us are aware of what happened in Bangalore. It was shocking to see that years, indeed, decades of social harmony was upended by rumours, scary chain mails and smses. We may be mostly good people at heart. However, we are probably the most internally racist nation on earth. Yes, we all stand up for the national anthem. We also cheer for our cricket team and Olympic medalists. When that ends, however, it's almost like we try to find a reason to hate and mistrust one another. And as part of our shallow thinking, one of the first things we discriminate against is someone who looks different from us.

Talk about India divided into parts. Part that support corruption and the part that supports 'Team Anna'. Part that prevents you from being together with people you love (case in point-Ek Tha Tiger) and part that would not mind killing their own daughters and sons if they married outside their own community. Part that requires you to carry an identity card at all times and part where you do not have your own identity. Part where we all stand for the National Anthem and part where we refuse to stand for the old people looking for seats in the trains and buses. Part where the residents of Delhi will not be given a hotel room for security purposes and part where there are no security checks for tenants. 

While we defend ourselves against the psy-war being waged on us from outside, let's also guard against the war waged on us from within by our two greatest enemies: the twin demons of Prejudice and Intolerance.

(P.S: The Cabinet is a living example of The Peter Principle, where everyone is elevated to their level of incompetence. Let us, the people of India not allow this great nation to fall apart.)    

By Choice Or By Chance !!!

People talk about love being an everlasting emotion. Something that sweeps you off your feet at times. Something that irritates you at times. Something that you are willing to work hard for. Something that at times you are willing to let go off. Something that is required all the time in one form or the other. Something that we can't seem to live without. Something that makes you do stupid things in its name.

Love is unquestionably and undoubtedly an emotion which surpasses all other emotions in a person. We all look for it. We look for it everywhere we can. We fight for it whenever we can. We laugh over it for as long as it is possible. We live for it for as long as we breathe.

My last weekend was as beautiful and perfect as one could have asked for. But that also got me thinking of a few things. Is it possible to stop loving? Is it possible to love two people at the same time? Does that mean you never loved the first person? Does it make you feel like a bad person for loving the second person? Does it ever fill you with the guilt of being wrong? Or does it sometimes make you realize the importance of the first person over second? And if you do still fall for the second person, does that mean you are being unfaithful?

There are times when despite being with one person for a couple of years, you click better with other person and fall for him/her. I have heard people term this as cheating. But come to think of it, can it really be termed as cheating? In our pursuit of being good and kind, we sometimes value the happiness of the other person over ours. In an attempt to remain loyal, we demean ourselves and the second person who for a shorter span of time became all you ever wanted.

Relationships are tough to handle. They are tricky and they take you off by surprises. They make you feel loved and guilty at the same time. They make you feel high and stupid all at once. No matter how long we have been in a relationship, there are times when you realize the missing elements. There are times when you stay in them because you might end up hurting the person you are with. There are moments which make you want to let go but you can't.

Is it wise to stay in a relationship because you have been in it for long? Or is it wiser to stay in a relationship because it is what you have wanted for long? An acquaintance of mine terms falling for the second person 'temporary insanity.' He says, sometimes it is necessary to fall for the second person for it helps you to realize what you really want. This got me thinking that in an attempt to pick and choose, you end up hurting one person more than what they deserved. Is this really the price one should be made to pay for being good? I would say that when you do not have any intentions of catching the person, you shouldn't make him/her fall for you. And if the second person helps you figure out what you really want in life, then maybe the first person wasn't the right fit for you.

Maybe there are no right moments, right people, right answers, maybe sometimes you just have to say what's in your heart. Don't lose sight of what you want for what you have. You gotta take some chances, you gotta risk losing it all, you gotta close your eyes and leap because it might be worth the fall.

(P.S: If you fall in love with two people, pick the second. If you really loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the other)If you fall in love with two people, pick the second. If you really loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the other.

If you fall in love with two people, pick the second. If you really loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the other.

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If you fall in love with two people, pick the second. If you really loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the other.

http://likearea.com