Crisis Of Masculinity !!!

Just when we were mourning over the loss of the lives of 20 children in Connecticut, and if that wasn't enough for a while, we are presented with another shocker. We can install as many CCTV's as we want, we can preach the females to dress up properly (I have absolutely no clue what that means) as much as we would like, we could instill values in our kids from the time they are born, we can listen to our politicians giving free speeches on national TV or we could ask women to stay within the confines of their homes all day long (why make it post 8 too!). But we cannot help but ask ourselves that one question which we all fear asking: Where are we headed as a society??

We have taught our women and even expect them to work as equals with men. We expect them to be self sufficient and independent. We expect them to be well educated and go-getters. But all this and more before 8p.m in the night and in clothes that do not provoke perverts. Because, we as a nation of more than a million people cannot stop men from raping women.

How as a society we grew so advanced in producing rapists and heinous men? How did we advance to a level where we have become normalized towards tolerating such appalling crimes against females? Why do we expect women to be bold and confident which in turn promotes a sense of insecurity and instability in men? Why does the sight of a young smartly-dressed educated female generate a sense of displacement in men? Why do women always have to appear vulnerable to a man's eye or she would be made to see an agitated male deprived of his masculinity? Why is it that we are unable to answer a deeply rooted societal problem? 

We can formulate laws and publicly execute the ones responsible for such hideous acts. We can light candles at India Gate to fast track such cases. We can post status updates and we can forward chain letters to the Chief Minister. We can also write blog posts about it or we can shout from rooftops about the incapabilities of our government to punish the criminals. We can advocate and preach our women to be safe and take precautions when travelling alone or in groups. We can do all this and more. But the fact remains: will these acts stop producing rapists in our society? Will this help us feel safe in our so called male dominated society?

More laws will only give us a false sense that something is being done, when very little is being done. We need to move forward as a society and have to stop looking at women empowerment as a threat to mankind. We need to stop raising sons with a false sense of superiority and being the privileged one. Because we can punish the accused in this case but what happens to the physical violence and rapes committed by men daily in the confines of their homes.

It is time for us to recognize how we as a society are implicated in producing the very individuals who are perpetrating such repulsive crimes against women, and to start taking responsibility for bringing it to an end.

(P.S: So many Gods, so many creeds. So many paths that wind and wind. While just the art of being kind is all this sad world needs!!)

Is Trust Truly Timeless !!!

Life they say is touch and go. You sometimes miss it even with the blink of an eye. And sometimes you are so engrossed in it that you do not see the other things around you. Things that might not hold importance but they end up hurting you.

Trust, a five letter word, but something that my dad said, takes years to build and seconds to ruin. But he also added one thing to this: we live in a society where breaking trust is considered more invigorating than building it. Who the hell cares about spending years to build it!!

In times of instant messaging and mails on the move, who has time to spend in getting to know someone, waste more time on building relationships when one can happily go ahead and have a drink at a bar and get picked up. Or better still, build relationships where your friend ends it with someone. Easy to pick, no time required to be wasted in getting to know them 'coz you already are aware of everything, leaves you with no guilt 'coz your friend's relationship with that person is over. You just happened to be there at the right place and at the right time (or so you think).

Two best friends since childhood, spent majority of their lives happily shopping, talking, eating, relaxing, dancing, singing and a lot of other things that made them happy. They went to the same school, ate the same stuff, wore similar clothes, had a lot of common friends, and moreover nothing could break the bond they shared. It was a fairytale written by angels themselves.

As time flew by, they both started growing young. Although a lot similar, they grew up to be a lot different. They still liked to hang out together, still ate similar food, still wore similar clothes, shared everything with each other 'coz it made them happier. They used to be happy seeing the other one happy. When they smiled, the world smiled with them. Proud daughters of their parents, they were 'love and bonding personified'. They excelled in everything they did. If one excelled in studies, the other fared equally well in extra curricular. If one was daddy's daughter, the other was the 'apple of her mother's eye'. Everyone around them was inspired to be like them.

They went to diiferent cities to pursue their education. They spoke over gtalk and skype for as long as 4 in the morning. Sometimes, even wrote letters to each other on pink, musk and vanilla flavored letter sheets in colored and sparkle pens which they knew the other would treasure for life. They missed being with each other. But with all India free calling, they knew which prepaid connection to take. When they were not skyping, there were texting. It became a routine for them . Keeping the other updated about their life in a different city. They discussed the men in their lives with as much interest as they discussed operations management. They discussed make-up as if they were discussing God of small things by Arundhati Roy. They were happy that the exams were done away with and they would be finally together. Just like old times.

And they finally met after spending 2 years apart. They still were a house on fire until they moved to different cities to work. Though the time they spent together reduced considerably, they still loved each other. They saw a lot of twists and turns in life during the next 1 year. One of them (lets call her S) broke up with her boyfriend of a few years. The other one (lets call this one A) was there trying to make her happy; taking her out shopping, dining, salons etc etc. 'A' was being the nicest one could imagine. The boyfriend was history by now. 'S' felt better, looked better and was able to work better. But something had changed. Something, 'S' couldn't figure out. Something that put a wall between the two of them. Something which made them drift apart.

What could it be? 'S' wished she could put a finger on it. She wished she could undo time. She wished she could see through her. She wished she could relive those moments with her. She wished they could be best friends again. She wished they could talk endlessly again. She wished she had never gone away from her. She blamed herself for whatever had gone wrong. Little did she know that her best friend, her soulmate, her younger sister 'A' was dating her ex boyfriend.

Guilt free and no holds barred, 'A' did everything that could break one's trust in the bond of sisterhood. Everything that goes against the sanctity of the relationship. Trust and honesty is an investment you put in people. I put all my investment in you. You chose to value your investments more than mine. Trust, a five letter word, which takes years to build and seconds to ruin.

(P.S.: I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you!!)