Crisis Of Masculinity !!!

Just when we were mourning over the loss of the lives of 20 children in Connecticut, and if that wasn't enough for a while, we are presented with another shocker. We can install as many CCTV's as we want, we can preach the females to dress up properly (I have absolutely no clue what that means) as much as we would like, we could instill values in our kids from the time they are born, we can listen to our politicians giving free speeches on national TV or we could ask women to stay within the confines of their homes all day long (why make it post 8 too!). But we cannot help but ask ourselves that one question which we all fear asking: Where are we headed as a society??

We have taught our women and even expect them to work as equals with men. We expect them to be self sufficient and independent. We expect them to be well educated and go-getters. But all this and more before 8p.m in the night and in clothes that do not provoke perverts. Because, we as a nation of more than a million people cannot stop men from raping women.

How as a society we grew so advanced in producing rapists and heinous men? How did we advance to a level where we have become normalized towards tolerating such appalling crimes against females? Why do we expect women to be bold and confident which in turn promotes a sense of insecurity and instability in men? Why does the sight of a young smartly-dressed educated female generate a sense of displacement in men? Why do women always have to appear vulnerable to a man's eye or she would be made to see an agitated male deprived of his masculinity? Why is it that we are unable to answer a deeply rooted societal problem? 

We can formulate laws and publicly execute the ones responsible for such hideous acts. We can light candles at India Gate to fast track such cases. We can post status updates and we can forward chain letters to the Chief Minister. We can also write blog posts about it or we can shout from rooftops about the incapabilities of our government to punish the criminals. We can advocate and preach our women to be safe and take precautions when travelling alone or in groups. We can do all this and more. But the fact remains: will these acts stop producing rapists in our society? Will this help us feel safe in our so called male dominated society?

More laws will only give us a false sense that something is being done, when very little is being done. We need to move forward as a society and have to stop looking at women empowerment as a threat to mankind. We need to stop raising sons with a false sense of superiority and being the privileged one. Because we can punish the accused in this case but what happens to the physical violence and rapes committed by men daily in the confines of their homes.

It is time for us to recognize how we as a society are implicated in producing the very individuals who are perpetrating such repulsive crimes against women, and to start taking responsibility for bringing it to an end.

(P.S: So many Gods, so many creeds. So many paths that wind and wind. While just the art of being kind is all this sad world needs!!)

Is Trust Truly Timeless !!!

Life they say is touch and go. You sometimes miss it even with the blink of an eye. And sometimes you are so engrossed in it that you do not see the other things around you. Things that might not hold importance but they end up hurting you.

Trust, a five letter word, but something that my dad said, takes years to build and seconds to ruin. But he also added one thing to this: we live in a society where breaking trust is considered more invigorating than building it. Who the hell cares about spending years to build it!!

In times of instant messaging and mails on the move, who has time to spend in getting to know someone, waste more time on building relationships when one can happily go ahead and have a drink at a bar and get picked up. Or better still, build relationships where your friend ends it with someone. Easy to pick, no time required to be wasted in getting to know them 'coz you already are aware of everything, leaves you with no guilt 'coz your friend's relationship with that person is over. You just happened to be there at the right place and at the right time (or so you think).

Two best friends since childhood, spent majority of their lives happily shopping, talking, eating, relaxing, dancing, singing and a lot of other things that made them happy. They went to the same school, ate the same stuff, wore similar clothes, had a lot of common friends, and moreover nothing could break the bond they shared. It was a fairytale written by angels themselves.

As time flew by, they both started growing young. Although a lot similar, they grew up to be a lot different. They still liked to hang out together, still ate similar food, still wore similar clothes, shared everything with each other 'coz it made them happier. They used to be happy seeing the other one happy. When they smiled, the world smiled with them. Proud daughters of their parents, they were 'love and bonding personified'. They excelled in everything they did. If one excelled in studies, the other fared equally well in extra curricular. If one was daddy's daughter, the other was the 'apple of her mother's eye'. Everyone around them was inspired to be like them.

They went to diiferent cities to pursue their education. They spoke over gtalk and skype for as long as 4 in the morning. Sometimes, even wrote letters to each other on pink, musk and vanilla flavored letter sheets in colored and sparkle pens which they knew the other would treasure for life. They missed being with each other. But with all India free calling, they knew which prepaid connection to take. When they were not skyping, there were texting. It became a routine for them . Keeping the other updated about their life in a different city. They discussed the men in their lives with as much interest as they discussed operations management. They discussed make-up as if they were discussing God of small things by Arundhati Roy. They were happy that the exams were done away with and they would be finally together. Just like old times.

And they finally met after spending 2 years apart. They still were a house on fire until they moved to different cities to work. Though the time they spent together reduced considerably, they still loved each other. They saw a lot of twists and turns in life during the next 1 year. One of them (lets call her S) broke up with her boyfriend of a few years. The other one (lets call this one A) was there trying to make her happy; taking her out shopping, dining, salons etc etc. 'A' was being the nicest one could imagine. The boyfriend was history by now. 'S' felt better, looked better and was able to work better. But something had changed. Something, 'S' couldn't figure out. Something that put a wall between the two of them. Something which made them drift apart.

What could it be? 'S' wished she could put a finger on it. She wished she could undo time. She wished she could see through her. She wished she could relive those moments with her. She wished they could be best friends again. She wished they could talk endlessly again. She wished she had never gone away from her. She blamed herself for whatever had gone wrong. Little did she know that her best friend, her soulmate, her younger sister 'A' was dating her ex boyfriend.

Guilt free and no holds barred, 'A' did everything that could break one's trust in the bond of sisterhood. Everything that goes against the sanctity of the relationship. Trust and honesty is an investment you put in people. I put all my investment in you. You chose to value your investments more than mine. Trust, a five letter word, which takes years to build and seconds to ruin.

(P.S.: I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you!!)

(Dis)Unity In Diversity !!

I have been meaning to write this for quite a while now. I am sure most of us open our Facebook pages even before we can open our eyes properly early morning. I too do the same, with my Blackberry doing the ninja back flip at times. It's always a happy feeling when you read about happy and pleasant stuff that makes you smile. Who wants to wake up to posts that torment us early morning.

A glimpse at my Facebook wall today and all I can see is the walls people have put up between them. Walls that divide us. Walls that keep us apart. Walls that everyone talks about but no one does anything to break them. Walls that act as barriers. Walls that we all wish weren't there. Walls that maybe one day will go down. Walls that we know by the names of Religion, Caste, Status, Regions, Politics, Corruption, Jihad, and a lot more which I might not be able to think right now.

A song sung by apna Assamese singer in the upcoming movie 'Barfi' made you so happy that you decided to call yourself a proud Assamese rather than a proud Indian. An article on the screening of a movie by a historical figure from Assam sends the state in a state of surface pleasantry. People as young as 24 posts statuses about giving them a separate state and a separate identity and not call them 'Indians'. North Easterns want to return to their homeland to be safe in their own country. Their only plea - not to treat them as 'chinkis' and not to take their promiscuous girls with oriental features as 'sl**s'. Is that too much to ask from their own countrymen?
 
The Indian Muslim community is caught in a catch-22 situation. If they go against the grain and fully integrate themselves with the mainstream (this is not to say they don’t try; many do) they risk being alienated by their own community. On the other hand, staying with the fold means subjecting themselves to the dogmas of the clergy.

All of us are aware of what happened in Bangalore. It was shocking to see that years, indeed, decades of social harmony was upended by rumours, scary chain mails and smses. We may be mostly good people at heart. However, we are probably the most internally racist nation on earth. Yes, we all stand up for the national anthem. We also cheer for our cricket team and Olympic medalists. When that ends, however, it's almost like we try to find a reason to hate and mistrust one another. And as part of our shallow thinking, one of the first things we discriminate against is someone who looks different from us.

Talk about India divided into parts. Part that support corruption and the part that supports 'Team Anna'. Part that prevents you from being together with people you love (case in point-Ek Tha Tiger) and part that would not mind killing their own daughters and sons if they married outside their own community. Part that requires you to carry an identity card at all times and part where you do not have your own identity. Part where we all stand for the National Anthem and part where we refuse to stand for the old people looking for seats in the trains and buses. Part where the residents of Delhi will not be given a hotel room for security purposes and part where there are no security checks for tenants. 

While we defend ourselves against the psy-war being waged on us from outside, let's also guard against the war waged on us from within by our two greatest enemies: the twin demons of Prejudice and Intolerance.

(P.S: The Cabinet is a living example of The Peter Principle, where everyone is elevated to their level of incompetence. Let us, the people of India not allow this great nation to fall apart.)    

By Choice Or By Chance !!!

People talk about love being an everlasting emotion. Something that sweeps you off your feet at times. Something that irritates you at times. Something that you are willing to work hard for. Something that at times you are willing to let go off. Something that is required all the time in one form or the other. Something that we can't seem to live without. Something that makes you do stupid things in its name.

Love is unquestionably and undoubtedly an emotion which surpasses all other emotions in a person. We all look for it. We look for it everywhere we can. We fight for it whenever we can. We laugh over it for as long as it is possible. We live for it for as long as we breathe.

My last weekend was as beautiful and perfect as one could have asked for. But that also got me thinking of a few things. Is it possible to stop loving? Is it possible to love two people at the same time? Does that mean you never loved the first person? Does it make you feel like a bad person for loving the second person? Does it ever fill you with the guilt of being wrong? Or does it sometimes make you realize the importance of the first person over second? And if you do still fall for the second person, does that mean you are being unfaithful?

There are times when despite being with one person for a couple of years, you click better with other person and fall for him/her. I have heard people term this as cheating. But come to think of it, can it really be termed as cheating? In our pursuit of being good and kind, we sometimes value the happiness of the other person over ours. In an attempt to remain loyal, we demean ourselves and the second person who for a shorter span of time became all you ever wanted.

Relationships are tough to handle. They are tricky and they take you off by surprises. They make you feel loved and guilty at the same time. They make you feel high and stupid all at once. No matter how long we have been in a relationship, there are times when you realize the missing elements. There are times when you stay in them because you might end up hurting the person you are with. There are moments which make you want to let go but you can't.

Is it wise to stay in a relationship because you have been in it for long? Or is it wiser to stay in a relationship because it is what you have wanted for long? An acquaintance of mine terms falling for the second person 'temporary insanity.' He says, sometimes it is necessary to fall for the second person for it helps you to realize what you really want. This got me thinking that in an attempt to pick and choose, you end up hurting one person more than what they deserved. Is this really the price one should be made to pay for being good? I would say that when you do not have any intentions of catching the person, you shouldn't make him/her fall for you. And if the second person helps you figure out what you really want in life, then maybe the first person wasn't the right fit for you.

Maybe there are no right moments, right people, right answers, maybe sometimes you just have to say what's in your heart. Don't lose sight of what you want for what you have. You gotta take some chances, you gotta risk losing it all, you gotta close your eyes and leap because it might be worth the fall.

(P.S: If you fall in love with two people, pick the second. If you really loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the other)If you fall in love with two people, pick the second. If you really loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the other.

If you fall in love with two people, pick the second. If you really loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the other.

http://likearea.com

If you fall in love with two people, pick the second. If you really loved the first person, you wouldn't have fallen for the other.

http://likearea.com

Single & (Un)Happy !!!

At my age, I don't really find it weird when people come and ask me about my marital status. If I am still a single, they show concern. If I am married, they ask about kids (when am I having one). And if I am seeing someone, they would want to know all possible details about the person and when would our relationship get converted into 'Holy Matrimony.' I don't blame them for asking such questions. Indian society is conditioned like that. And I do not think I will be wrong if I say that the world is conditioned like that.

When it comes to being a single and at an age where most people prefer getting married, being a single seems like a sin in our so called modern society. Why am I single? I do not know. Do I like being a single? I would lie if I said yes. Of course no one likes being single. Am I single by choice? I do not think so. Aren't you bothered about getting married? If marriage brings botheration, then what exactly is the point of getting married. What are you still looking for? Someone who I can wake up next to, smiling. Do I still have so many choices left with most singles, taken? I do not see any problem in that. Do I have a particular type? I am not buying a shampoo. It's a person for heaven sake. Wouldn't I find it difficult adjusting with a person, now? We keep adjusting to situations all our life. This is just a person.

Not only these. I can come up with infinite number of questions that people throw at singles. Being a single is not a crime. And lemme just mention one thing. No one is single by choice. As humans, we all like to be loved and to love. We cannot by any means live in seclusion. We like who we are but we also like what others can make us feel. Singles are not a deprived lot of people who society shows concern for so much that it sometimes get on your nerves.

With friends, relatives, family constantly at a watch guard to find you a suitable match, one is bound to feel the social pressure around. And given our society, where girls are measured on the basis of their weight, age, colour, height and their working status. And guys are measured by their income level, social status (read liquidity), number of siblings (lesser the better), whether living with parents (how would you like if your son disowns you for his wife) and a lot more which makes me detest this whole matrimony 'business' in our country. A single facing all of this along with the stress of the work, is bound to break down.

Yesterday, a friend was very sad because of his single status. He wants to get married, soon. Why? Because, all his friends are married now. Because, his parents want him to. Because, everyone around him talks about marriage. Because, everyone expects him to be married at this age. To which I had only one question. What do you want? To which he had only one answer, which I have heard a lot of people say. I don't know. I just wanna be married.

Marriage, no doubt is between two families. But it's you who will have to run it. Not the friends who tease you in the cafeteria. Not the relatives who show a huge amount of concern now. Not the parents because they would not be there with you forever. And not the neighbours who poke their nose in all your businesses.

Being single doesn't mean that no one wants you. Or no one likes you. Or you have a problem. You don't love a person all at once. You might not like a few things in yourself and would want to change them. You might not like a few things in the other person and would want to change them. Its the one who loves the flawed you who you should give your heart to. Because no matter what other people say, you definitely are beautifully imperfect !!

(P.S: It's tempting to wish for the perfect boss - the perfect parent - or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got.)

Great Expectations !!!

I hate it when people expect a tad bit too much from you all the time. Sure enough, I was there the last time you needed me but things change, time changes and so have I. Suck it up. Your calling me time and again and crying over messages doesn't change anything. It doesn't change the fact that you were a retard the last time we spoke and all those years you have been meaning to ruin my life. It doesn't change the fact that we aren't exactly on what you call 'good terms' right now.

This wasn't me speaking out loud 'what's going on in my mind' right now or for that matter what goes on in my mind all the time. But a sad and true story of a few relationships that have to end sometimes. Its about people expecting too much when they themselves have too little to give. I remember a friend telling me about her boyfriend who used to crib and nag all the time about the friends she has or had (I guess she gave up on those friends to be with him). But when it came to the guy's friends, they were all perfect, infact too perfect to be true.  So perfect, that he gave them more importance over the lady love of his life.

Expectations aren't wrong or unsound. As a matter of fact , they keep the two people who are together, going strong. On my flight back to Delhi from Bangalore, in the winter of 2011, I met a lady, a very intelligent lady who said as long as your partner asks you about your whereabouts and he/she is interested in your life, you two have nothing to worry about. It's when he is not interested in your appearance and ignores you or for that matter doesn't expect anything from you, you have everything to worry about. Because now you know he has lost interest. I couldn't have agreed more. As long as two people truly care about each other, they would want to be a part of each other's life.

Being a part of someone's life doesn't mean that you two will share the food on the plate daily or you two will keep texting about everything that happens in your happy/sad life, or you will update your Facebook status every hour to tell each other how much you miss him/her. In the true sense, it means keeping the other person involved in your life (leaving the detailed description, unless asked). Expectations, if not fulfilled lead to disappointments, which is true in all relationships. Be it your family or your friends, we all expect them to be there when we need them. It goes without saying that they too expect the same from us.

A relationship without expectations is like food without salt. Its bland and boring. While expecting too much is sure to kill a relationship, the opposite can also be true. Every relationship has its high points which are bound to be levelled out over time. If we base our expectations forever on those highs, the rest of the relationship is bound to be disappointing.

Expectations about running into someone who might change your world and give you fluttering butterflies in the pit of your stomach might be a thing of the past. Ever thought of you running into someone and changing their life forever?

(P.S: When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are !!)

Maa Tujhe Salaam !!!

I remember coming back home from school one fine afternoon, crying. I was not only crying, I was making my parents promise that they would never send me to the school again. It was a place where I got scolded and was made to work, when I didn't want to. All I wanted to do was sit next to the cute guy in the class and play, sing songs and share my lunch box. I was hugged and put to sleep.

One night I remember waking up from a bad dream and found myself weeping. I do not remember what I dreamt about. What I remember is that I was hugged and put to sleep again.

I fought with my best friend in college. I do not remember the reason but I remember coming back home and shouting on top of my voice and then crying again. I did not want to fight. It just happened and I did not know what to do. I do not remember why I fought and now I do not even remember who I fought. I remember being hugged and given a smile that made me feel better and at ease.

I scored low in a subject and I was scared. I couldn't have scored low. I studied hard for it. I worked so much on the tests. I put in 16 hours of study on the subject. How could this have happened to me. But it did. I do not remember what subject was it and what did I score in it. But I remember being motivated and I remember being told 'hard work pays off and I need not base my self worth on the basis of the marks I scored.' I remember being told I could do better and I remember being kissed on the forehead.

I fell ill and I blacked out. I fell off the stairs and I hurt myself. I cried endlessly. I do not remember when this happened and how ill I was. But I remember being put in my bed and taken care of. I remember being hugged and tended to.

I started working and I loved it. I starting loving my work and was given more work. I started hating the work load and people around. I whined and nagged. I cribbed and sniveled. I do not remember what work made me hate my work. I do not remember what did I whine about. But I remember being asked to calm down and take up activities that make me feel better. I remember being comforted and consoled. I remember being asked to quit if I wanted to. 

I loved and I lost. I cried and was exhausted. I hated the world. I hated myself. I do not remember why I loved so much and why did I cry so much. But I remember being told that I deserve someone better. I remember being told that it's destiny's way of saying you deserve to be loved more and to love more. I remember being taken into arms that would never leave me and put to sleep in the lap of the person holding me.

I lost four people I loved dearly. I was heartbroken, shattered and crushed. I was let down by people I cared for the most. I was being pulled down and was falling apart. I do not remember how I felt at that moment. I do not remember how I pulled myself back together. But I remember being told that I am strong and I will make through this like everything else. I remember being hugged and told that I am tougher than the situation itself.

I do not remember how I grew up to be this strong. I do not remember the source of my strength for surviving setbacks. I do not remember my source of inspiration. I do not remember my origin. I do not remember my mistakes. I do not remember being put down. I do not remember crying to sleep. I do not remember sadness. But I remember moments.

I remember being happy. I remember being euphoric. I remember laughing in splits. I remember being held. I remember being kissed. I remember being hugged. I remember sleeping comfortably. I remember the source of my laugh lines. I remember the wild child that I was. I remember being pampered and I remember being at ease. I remember my maker. I remember my mom.

I might not remember most people and situations I have been through in life. But I remember each day when I was hugged by my mother and inspired to move ahead in life. I might not be a perfect daughter but I couldn't have asked for a more perfect mother.

Alice Walker once said, “In search of my mother's garden, I found my own.”

(P.S: When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.)

From Boys To Men !!!

Fluttering eyelashes, a cute lil' smile, coyness in the way one talks, demureness in the way one walks, the shyness in the laughter, the glance over the shoulder to look for someone, the puppy eye look on the face and weirdness written all over. But this was then.

Confident in every possible manner, from boldness in the way one talks to chic in the way one looks, from being independent to being self reliant, from being a sexy bit*h to a naughty damsel, from being hot to being a 'girl next door', from working full time to cooking full time, from being a partner to being a mother; the journey for a lady hasn't been easy.

Just last night I was having a conversation ( a meaningless at that) with an old school friend of mine. From wanting or desiring the hottest looking female with a bit*hy attitude then (read school), boys have come off age. Not only they drooled over every sexy female in school making all the efforts to bag the chick, they made every possible attempt to make this fact known after their efforts paid off. After all, who doesn't like winning the trophy !!

10 years hence and the same guy would or is looking for someone who has the calmest demeanor and looks that say 'take me home'. From someone who not only understands him when he speaks out loud to someone who knows how to read the unwritten and hear the unspoken. From carrying herself with elegance to managing the house without whining. From looking like a trophy wife to his friends to behaving like a sexy siren with him. From being patient to being kind, from being hot to being cool, from being religious to being a goddess.

This made me question the changing dynamics of a relationship. What he said didn't surprise me much. In school he would have wanted someone who could manipulate people and lie on the face with an 'in-your face' attitude. Someone who other guys would drool over. Someone who would smoke a pot and could be bedded easily. Someone who wouldn't want a serious relationship. Someone who every guy would want.

But when it comes to men his age (post 25), they want someone who is willing to give it all to a relationship. Someone who drinks up and still behaves like a lady with class. Someone who is honest and non manipulative. Men want women who are emotionally mature. Maturity does not mean lack of emotions. It does mean the ability to handle emotions responsibly.  Many women treat men in ways that diminish their egos, making them feel inadequate. Men would rather have more praise, more acknowledgment of what they do right, more acknowledgment that they are great guys who are loved and appreciated.

The desire to love and be loved is the most basic human need. Women who are resigned to the myth that all men cheat: infidelity and “a roaming eye” are as distasteful to men as they are to women. Great men know how to build a wonderful relationship, and they know fidelity is the main ingredient.

Though this conversation didn't surprise me much, it still feels good to know that men will always be men. They would never know who they want, what they want until the right one comes along and tells them that 'he is what she wants'.

(P.S: Someone in his right state of mind once said, "being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.")

First Impressions !!

Unlike the most of you, I am not that great at first impressions. More so, if it's someone I am meeting for the first time. Doubly so, if I want to be nice around him/her. Triply so, if I like him/her. Quadruple it, if I want him/her to like me. As much as I hate it, I cant avoid it. From acting weird to being nervous, from being all sweaty to constantly looking around, from laughing to making funny faces, it jus' seems to worsen.

I am sure most of you like me love making first impressions, good ones at that. But in some situations where you really have no control over your actions and expressions, do we write off people based on a nervous first impression? Do they matter so much that we completely change our outlook towards the person? Do we ourselves always end up making the best possible first impressions? Can't we be too quick to judge? Did we even make an attempt to make the other person feel comfortable? Lastly and the most important, do first impressions change? Is it possible that you can go back and make a first impression again?

There are numerous articles on the web stating the importance of first impressions. From being confident to being polite, from being respectful to being nice (I still haven't been able to define nice), from dressing appropriately to making a checklist of things to talk about (where were all of these articles when my first impression went wrong), from talking about your likes and dislikes to maintaining calmness in what you do and how you act. From controlling your body language to maintaining eye contact, from being courteous to smelling good. Pheewwww !!!

Reading all is good. Sticking to the basics of making lasting first impressions better. Being yourself, even if that means being a lil' nervous, anxious, apprehensive, shaky and twitchy isn't all that bad either. Because then you are being you. And if that's the worst side of you, the better side can sweep someone off their feet (too filmy again, its the effect of watching too many movies these days).

On a more serious note, we all love to make ever lasting, wonderful first impressions. Showcasing our best side, our top notch vocabulary, our common interests and likes, dressing to impress and making conversation that would make the other person completely fall for you. But I remember learning all of this during my soft skills classes during my MBA. What we were not taught was that we could go wrong and falter. What we were also not taught was ways to correct them. What we were forgotten to be told was that in an attempt to create a better impression, you might create a bad second impression.

Just as looks are deceptive and we all want people to like us, do not worry about making bizarre first impressions because impressive first impressions can be practiced and rehearsed. Jus' go out and be yourself. If being nervous is the worst side of you, you sure as hell would be great at your best side. And as I always say, we all are weird, some all the times, some a lot of times and some never. But when you find that weird person who's compatible with your weirdness, that's when you know that first impressions are really just a result of you being vulnerable.

I guess my parents too said it around 27 years ago that our girl is weird, but look we've stuck around forever now. Sometimes you might discover it was "The One" who almost got away because you were too quick to judge. And we do tend to believe our worst reviews when it comes to love and life !!

(P.S: I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it !!)

The Key To Your Heart !!!

Some call it an institution. Some have experienced bliss in it. Some play it very cool. Some are stuck in it for the sake of other people. Some are too much dependent on it for their own happiness. And for most of us, it's important at some point or the other. I haven't been through it myself but I have seen people experiencing various moods while in or out of it: melancholy, discontent, happiness, distress, ecstasy, regret and a lot more than I can ever name. I have most often been told by most people around me that it is a gamble, which a lot of us play only once and the lucky ones get to play it more than once in one lifetime. I do not need to elaborate further on what I am talking about. Marriage might have been called by many as an end to your freedom but for me it is an accomplishment of love and not an end to it.

In the morning a friend of mine was talking to me about a girl who he doesn't want to marry but is not willing to let go off what they share: bedroom, shopping excursions, a social status (which apparently you have when you are dating, 'coz if you aren't then you are no more the cool guy or the hot chick....sigh !!), the dinner dates at home, someone to share your problems with, a shoulder to cry on and not to mention the free s*x that just comes with it. But when it comes to marriage, he cannot take a leap in that direction b'coz of many reasons that I found unworthy of mentioning here. Even if I felt like giving him a piece of my mind, I chose to ignore and listen. But one piece of advice Mr Jerk, when it comes to relationships of the heart, one shouldn't be too careful about everything and careless about nothing.

Arranged or love, we all seem to have our own perspectives on each one of them. Some who are willing to settle down for love think they have nothing to lose but for the others, there's a lot at stake. One of my closest friend who's getting married soon always wanted to marry for love but as luck would have it, she 's been chosen to find love after getting hitched. There's a crazy concept that we all believe in: Destiny. Whenever something doesn't go as planned, we choose to blame it on our fate. And because it was predestined to happen, we could have done nothing about it.

This brings me to the thought that what if because you could not do anything, you are stuck in a loveless and lifeless marriage. Would it be called destiny then? Would we blame our stars for not making it work? Would we then move on and take a leap in other direction? Would we then call our parents to our rescue? Would we then call it our ill fate? Would we then sacrifice our life for the happiness of others? Would a marriage that could have been an epic novel end as a short story?

Any marriage just like any other relationship goes through rough patches. For some these patches last longer than expected and for some less than 24 hrs. I have seen people living happily ever after, and a few never even wanting to see each other months after getting married. I am no advocate on a list of things to make a marriage work but for a start give it all you've got and don't hold back. When one can prepare the answers to the questions in an exam, muster the art of cooking by practicing, run marathons by putting in all the effort, make ourselves look impeccable by spending hours in front of the mirror, marriage doesn't seem that big of a deal to me.

Live in the moment and remember at one point or the other, romance will give way to reality and that's when you'll know what to do.

(P.S: Everyone thinks they know so goddamned much about everything and no one knows f**k all about anything !!)

Beautiful Stranger !!!

Off late, my travel to one of my favorite places (read Delhi) has become quite frequent and so the frequency of meeting normal, more than normal and the normallest (for the lack of a better word) people has also become a recurrent phenomena. Though my favorite mode of commuting remains my own car, but the over congested Delhi roads do not permit me zooming around in that. No brownie points for guessing my second favorite mode of commuting; its the Metro !!

Working (the most tired lot who wants to grab a seat ASAP), non-working (the me kinds), school kids, Rajouri Garden like decked up chicks (that's a word me and my friend coined for over dressed females, who only want to show off their MAC cosmetics and their oh-so glamorous pick from their local boutique) and kitty party aunties (I can't take my eyes off them at times), leechers (who roam around in the metro for not missing that one chance of hooking up with any random chick and use "Will you Fraanship me...Ouch!!). Last but not the least, the grannies of yesteryears and tomorrow (who travel because they have to meet some relative or the other. Bahut din ho gaye mile hue). These grannies are the best. Unlike the leechers, they have no problem attracting and wooing people around. They come up with the best possible pick-up lines describing their daughter-in-laws and son-in-laws. My dear grannies, if your daughter-in-law and son-in-law, who your respective son and daughter married are so hare-brained, why are you so blind eyed towards people who listen to your conversation with the next random granny and laugh at you.

Anyways, my ride in the Metro has never been non exciting. From being offered seats by super cute guys to random guys making passes through their eyes which are always covered in a duplicate of RayBan from the local flee market. From aunties who start questioning about my whereabouts because they find something nice in me (I will leave the description of that something nice) to females walking up to enquire about the brand of my handbag. From uncles who look like stalkers and glare at you as if you are their lost and found daughter to kids who start shouting around you to make you more (un)comfortable than you already are.

But in all this rush around you, you sometimes end up meeting people who you wouldn't have met otherwise. Atleast not in bars and clubs you hang out at. Or at your favorite Italian eatery. With a Vaio laptop bag in his hand, wearing a Hilfiger blue T-shirt and a blackberry in his hand, he had the looks one would die for. Not getting into a more detailed description of Mr X, he caught my attention because he was standing jus' next to me. Ok, he had a cute smile too. I have a track record of not meeting cute guys in the Metro. I had heard people telling me that they did but I didn't ever, not until now. This was a first for me, so in my mind I already had hit the Jackpot. Elated, ecstatic and all smiles I was 10 stations away from my desired destination. Not that I am a teenager who would have fluttering butterflies in the stomach at this age but come on cute guys do make your heart skip a beat (ok, that was too filmy). 3 stations and he still didnt get down. Maybe our destination was the same. I smiled as I thought about this.

2 more stations and still no word and still standing there, he was looking out the window. Well chiseled jaw line made him look raw and pretty. I was 5 stations away from my destination and 3 steps away from the uber cute guy and just a minute away from a disaster (more on that later). Mr X was in no mood to get down from the Metro, I thought. What if we are going to the same place after all (which was not even a remote possibility). 2 stations away from my destination and he looked at me and smiled that cute smile of his. I bbmed a friend that the cute guy smiled and he advised me to start some random conversation. Bad as I am at random conversations, I pulled myself together and decided that maybe I should. What's the harm, I asked myself. I bbmed my friend and asked him to advice me on what to talk about. Whatever he advised me to do, I couldn't and I decided I wouldn't. I hate random conversations at random places.

1 station was all I was left with. It was now or never. I chose now for a change. But as luck would have it, we both got down at the same South Delhi station. My 'Now' by now had taken the shape of 'Never'. As we moved out of the Metro station, there was a girl standing outside the station to meet him. The guy smiled at me again and for a change I smirked at him. I didnt want him to be with this girl. Sure enough she was pretty, but I wanted to talk to him. Just as these thoughts were crossing my mind, the guy went over to the girl and slapped him twice. Woah !! He was shouting on her for a reason I wouldn't even want to mention here. What a moron !! I was thanking God that my never remained a never.

My Dear Men, raising your hand on females is not an indication of your strength. It is an indication of how weak you are in situations you have no control over. Or even if you have control, you choose to take over the situation by showcasing your muscle strength rather than your mental balance. What you do in the name of love is not love. It is a crime. You men look the other way just because you have not experienced domestic violence with your own flesh.

(P.S: In our society, the emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says: 'It's a girl' !!)

Are We There Yet !!!

Time flies and so do moments. Even those which have had a great impact on all of us. We all want to hold on to the moments which make us happy and let go of the ones which have made us sad, unhappy and at times made us cry. We all want our lives to be a story written in sparkle which is all glittery, jazzy and straight out of a fairytale. If only this was possible, we'd all be riding high in the air knowing only one emotion; happiness.

I walk straight into the room glancing around knowing nothing, feeling nothing, seeing nothing, holding nothing. Am I new to this feeling? I do not know because I do not remember. Because I do not want to remember. Because I would not like to remember. Or maybe I did not ever want to feel this way. I chose to let go. I chose to shut down every image of those memories. I chose to move ahead or did I choose to stay just there. I do not know.

A look at any Bollywood movie and you know where it is headed. There is the hero: the prince in a shining armour who has plenty of females vying for his attention but he is looking for that special someone; there is the heroine: the princess in shiny, flowing dresses with beautiful tresses who awaits the prince and is sure that one day he will walk into her life and make it all look better and happier. And then there is the villain: the rogue who is suppose to make life miserable for the prince and the princess, who makes their love grow fonder, who makes them come closer and who despite every effort does not win over the princess. And then there are the side characters who give shape to the circumstances, who help the story move ahead, who keep the story interesting and going.

That's the thing about fairytales/movies. We all know the ending no matter what. There are tears and there are love songs. There are fights and there is overjoy. There are friends and there are foes. There are moments of elation and there are moments of dejectedness. There is a happy ending despite every turn life takes. There is jubilation in the end. Despite every misery one faces, cheerfulness never ceases to show up.

I still stand in the room glancing around. How did I get this far? How did I get through everything and still have the patience and strength to endure more? How did I reach here despite every effort to make my life take a different turn? How did I manage to survive? How do I still manage to laugh and be happy? How do I still believe in the magic of love? How do I still believe in fairytales? How do I still believe in life? How do I still believe in myself?

I take a step forward and I feel the calmness. A step closer to my window and I feel free. What took me so long to take this step? I might not know the ending to my life but I have a choice. I have the choice to choose who stays in my life. I have the choice to choose the direction in which I move. I have the choice to move ahead or look back. I have the choice to laugh or cry. I have the choice to let go or hold on. I have the choice to feel free. I have the choice to love myself. I have the choice to sing and dance to the music of my choice. I have the choice to dream. I have the choice to believe in fairytales. I have the choice to turn my life into a fairytale. I have the choice to sustain my life as a dream. I have a choice to change the stones thrown at me into flowers of discovery. I have the choice to know myself better. I have the choice to live better.

(P.S: Sometimes you meet somebody and you know that whatever you did before, it must have been right.... nothing could've been too bad or gone too wrong because it led you to this person..)

The Reason !!!

I didn't know why but I knew I loved it. I knew I should not but I could not stop. I lied to myself and spoke the truth to you. I want to believe but I do not allow myself to. I want to be told again and again and even if you do, I choose not to listen. I want to be held but I am scared. I have seen pain. I have heard myself break down. I close my heart each time I hear you speak. I know this is different but how do I know for sure. My heart and my mind pull me in two different directions. You have seen the best but not the worst. I trust myself but I do not trust myself with you. You seem like a dream and I am no dreamer.

I stand amongst the crowd looking in a direction opposite to where you stand. I am afraid to look at you. I am afraid you would see me cry. I am afraid you would let me fall. I am afraid you would let me go. I am afraid to feel the pain. I am afraid to look at you walk away. I am afraid of not waking up next to you. I am afraid of seeing you pulled away. I am afraid to wake up from my dream. I am afraid to lose you. I am afraid of the world. I am afraid that I am one amongst the crowd.

You live in a world where everything is dreamy eyed. I live in a world where everything is actuality. A step into my world and you took me to yours. I don't belong there but you ask me to stay. I don't want to be equated. I don't want to be hated. I don't want to be left. I don't want to change. I don't want to be restricted. I don't want to be rejected. I don't want to be affected. I don't want to leave but I know you will.

People say if it brings you to it, it gets you through it. My faith in this gets stronger each day spent with you. My faith makes me stay. My faith makes me happy. My faith makes me believe. My faith makes me forget. My faith brings me closer to you. My faith holds on to you. My faith accepts me. My faith makes me love myself more. My faith holds my hand each moment I panic. My faith stands next to me to catch me each time I slip. My faith is sacred. My faith is you.

Loving you is all I am capable of. My heart beats like a drum each time it hears your voice. You don't know but that's how it is. You provide rhythm to my heart, the music of which only I can hear. I don't promise to turn nights into mornings but I will share the nights with you. I can't bring the stars to your feet but I will light each candle that will make your night bright. I don't promise it will be easy but I promise it won't be alone. I don't promise that I can take away all your pain but I promise I will bring a smile on your face each time you are in pain. I don't promise to stay forever but I will never leave your side for as long as I am alive.

A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather. I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert. But I am holding you closer than most because you are my heaven !!

(P.S: I may not be the most beautiful, the sexiest or the girl with the perfect body, but I don't pretend to be someone I am not. I am good at being me. I might not be proud of some of the things I have done in my past, but I am proud of who I am today !!)

Someone Special !!!

I like waking up in the mornings to the sound of your voice. I love the way you say my name with so much care and passion. The way you laugh with me when I laugh makes me feel loved. The exhilaration, the excitement, the joyfulness that makes my eyes sparkle is hard to miss. I feel intoxicated. I had long forgotten the feeling of 'butterflies in the stomach'. Its like listening to acoustics again and again and yet again. Its like the soulfulness that has long been missed. 

Smiling like a baby, I rest in your arms. My beamish eyes hold you in them. My faith in you makes me want you more. My faith in you makes me want us more. My faith in us makes me want our life more. It now seems like eternity that I have known you. My love for you grows leaps and bounds with each passing day. We had to meet. It was inevitable. It was predestined. 

The laughter, all day smiles, sparkling eyes, my engaged mind, the nervousness in my voice, the calmness in your voice, you arouse feelings in me that I was scared to feel. You elicit in me a person I had long forgotten I was. You have rekindled hopes of love within me. You say you are not worthy of me. I wish I could tell you that you are. That we both are.  

I did three things today; miss you, miss you, and miss you.
Whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss. Because I love you and I miss you, hearing your voice is the closest thing to touching you. 

When the night has come and the land's dark, when the moon is the only light we'll see, look at the stars; can you count them? I miss you that much. Sometimes I miss you so much, I just want to rip you out of my dreams and hug you. Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. I miss you like the sun misses the flowers in the depths of winter, instead of beauty to direct its light to, the heart hardens like the frozen world which your absence has banished me to.

I don't want you to know, so I try to be strong. I don't want you to think that without you, I can't go on. But that's how it is, and that's how it will be, because, Baby, I love you, I need you, I miss you, and without you, there's no me.

(P.S: It's true we don't know what we've got until it's gone, but we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. )

Covert Affairs !!!

Phone calls all the time, sharing your darkest secrets, going out watching movies, clubbing, dancing, shopping, dining, lunching, partying, and ending it with a night of physical and only physical pleasure. Welcome to a world where friends come with benefits and emotions come without a tag.

A night at a friends place, alcohol and a few hours of swaying to the music together is what it takes to get two people into an intimate relationship. Or so I was told. When it comes to sex, there is no one who knows your needs better than a friend who you have shared all your desires with. This friend has always been there when you have needed him and doesn't mind going that extra mile to luxuriate you in a sexual activity. No perplexity, no complexity.

A no strings attached relationship is what most youngsters today are looking for. With an advancement of careers and a shift in the work hours, who has time for real relationships? On offer are hook-ups, one night stands and having no strings attached sex with a close friend, who has sexual needs too, rather than a total stranger. So can we say that we live in a time where physical needs surpass emotional needs.

What happened to the good old dating routine which gave you time to know each other and being there for each other? Is sex overrated? Or we have needs that can't wait? Many people decide to stay in these fine relationships not because they consider them the loves of their lives - but because they are comfortable because of past history, mutual interests and friendship. And that is until someone better comes along.

A friend of mine told me that FWB’s  don’t sleep together because they can’t keep their hands off each other. They sleep together because there isn’t anyone else more appealing at the moment. I don't seem to disagree with this because I have come across people who in spite of having a doting partner go ahead and indulge in casual and emotionless physical relationships.

But what happens when one of them falls for the other and wants to take the emotional plunge to give a meaningful turn to the 'just friends' relationship. You say all or you say none at all. For our generation, relationships are like a game of monopoly. The more you get into it, the better you think you are getting at it. And the more addictive it gets. What we sometimes forget are the ways to snap out of these so called obsessive cravings.

(P.S: These relationships come with an expiry date and before you know they start to curdle up ruining what you had for what you will never have !!)

Affirmation !!!

I didn't even realize I existed until now. I wanted to cheer with joy, basking in happiness, finally realizing my presence. I opened my eyes to look around. It was a peaceful and warm day. Chirping of birds, trees whooshing around me, fresh breeze and somewhere in the neighborhood, a very romantic couple was gracefully and rhythmically moving to the music of Kenny G. Isn't this the perfect start to a brand new day.

A day that holds so many surprises for each one us. A day when I finally feel important. A day when I feel loved. A day I never thought I would see the light of. A day which I wanted to live. A day where I wanted to be happy. A day when I feel blessed. A day where I would be a part of someone's happiness. A day which holds in itself magic.

There's nothing more intriguing than life. Life sometimes is magical, viewed by some as mere illusion, a dream which we weave around people we love. I would do the same. I want to be loved. I want to love. I want to feel the actuality of being loved. The emotions once deprived, today flowed with love and an eagerness.

It was the flow of my thoughts or the sweet lullaby, I didn't remember sleeping. I was happy in this world, a happy world, a world where I was valued, a world which would embrace me with open arms, a world which had given me a sense of belonging. This was one of those 'Kodak Moments'. It was the beginning of my happy days. I would forget what happened in the past. Let go of all those memories that have hurt me. Let go of what others had said about you. This is my world, my place, my space, my creation, the reason for my existence, the real world for my real life.

All those memories of crying, being hit, those lonely and sleepless nights spent in despair, the outcries and screams will have to be buried. I would not let the thoughts of those nights ruin my love for the world. I would have to stop reminiscing about all that happened in the past. I will spread the message of love and peace. I would be the change that I had wished to see. I would be the personification of happiness. I would be a personification of you. I would be a personification of love. I would be a personification of my world.

Thoughts began to fade away. Was it time for me to wake up? Or was it time for me to finally spread the message of love? Have I proved others wrong? Have I been finally able to bring them to see my love for them? Have I been able to make them love me? Have I been able to outshine the others? Have I been able to win over them with my smile and my innocence? Have they finally realized my importance? Have they finally decided to keep me?

I prayed as I began recollecting the memories from the past. I was numb. I did not feel anything. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I wanted to smile but something held me back. I froze in time. I am the messenger of love. I thought I was the messenger of love. I thought I was born out of love. I thought I was special. I thought I was yours. I was afraid if I would sleep now, I wouldn't wake up.

They were right and I was wrong. They were right to question your love. They were right to question my love. They were right to question the world. They were right to question my overwhelming happiness. They were afraid for me because they loved me. But I loved you mom and you let me go just like you let go of others.

Everything Fades !!!

I lie on the sand, music playing in the background, music that one doesn't get to hear anywhere else, music that is melodious, music that touches your heart, melody that I couldn't ignore, the keynotes that somehow I didn't want to shrug off, sounds that pulled me towards itself, the auditory sensation flowing through me, the perfect pleasant sound that my ears longed to hear.

I lie on the sand wanting to hold the moments. I lie there tying myself to the short lived, fleeting moment. I lie there because there is nothing that I wouldn't do to keep this passing moment alive. There is nothing that would make me more alive than this moment. There is nothing that I have but this moment.

Today was special. Today was about me. Today was about him. Today was about us. Today all I cared was to listen to each sound playing close to me, pay heed to the most silent prayers that have been answered, obey and give in to the sound of my own heartbeat. Today was all I cared about and today was what I had. Today was what I would have.

How could I let go of this moment which was special in every possible manner. How could I rest my head when all I wanted to do was be as close to you as possible. How could I close my eyes when all I wanted was to look at you. How could I let you walk away when all I wanted to do was hold you. How could I verbalize when all I wanted to do was listen to your heartbeat. How could I not live this moment, the only true moment that I had.

Its dusk and I know you'll go. I know I'll go. I know this wouldn't last. I know this looked like a dream, a distant dream. But we know it's all we have. Looking together at the setting sun, wishing that time would freeze, hoping against hope to relive this moment over and over again, longing for this day to stay longer than usual, expecting to wake up the next morning smiling at each other, counting on the possibility of sitting next to each other. I know it will pass. You know it will pass. We still dream. We still believe. We still have faith. We still have us.

Its night and as hours pass, I hold you closer. I hold you close to my heart, listening to the sound of water gushing, stars gazing at us, the darkness of the night assuring, stillness in the air, calmness in the hands that hold me. Am I being hypnotized or maybe its that hour of the night where sleep begins to dawn on me. I try and keep my eyes open. I know I can't. I try harder and I succeed this time. We had dreamt of this day for so long. We wanted to see the first light of the sun together. We wanted to live together. We wanted our lives together.

Its dawn and I sleep. It's the morning that we have waited for so long, but I sleep. I sleep smiling. I sleep content. I sleep because I can. I sleep because I have you. I sleep because I knew I would. I sleep because you knew I would. I sleep because we knew I would. I sleep because I have now lived my dream. I sleep because there is nothing that I could do to relive. I sleep because I have lived. I sleep because I couldn't live.

Of Labels & Love !!!

All the females who are conversant with the art of shopping will agree to the fact that shopping does give us all a high. Just what the alcohol does to our brain. Sale, no-sale, online, offline, exhibitions or fairs, all seem to call out our names the minute we try to curb our instinct to indulge ourselves. ZARA, Mango, Aldo, Nine West, Kimaya, Versace, DKNY, Charles & Keith, Lush, La Senza; the names sound like the most melodious song that one can ever listen to.

Apart from the shopping list mentioned above, a female also needs to take care of the products and brands that keep her going on a daily basis. Products like shampoos, conditioners, grocery items, fruits and vegetables. Though most of us like shopping from former list, one can't do without the items in the latter. What is it with shopping and women, men may ask. Why is it that the entire female fraternity never gets tired of shopping? Why is it that the world actually seem like a better place when we shop? Why do shoes make us happy? And why do men crib about women shopping?

Women across the globe want to lay their hands on the best of things. The best of cars, the best of clothes, the best of lingerie, the best of cuisines, the best of grocery items, the best of soaps, the best of shoes and the best of whatever I can't think of right now. Did I forget something? I guess yes. I will come back to that.

Two weeks back, while shopping at a sale at ZARA, one could find women snatching clothes from one another. The minute one kept the piece of clothing, the other one was ready to pounce on that in an attempt to make it hers. See how the ownership cycle works here. Now let's have a look at another scenario. While shopping for apples that very evening at a very fancy store full of fancy looking chicks, I replaced a rotten apple with a better one and the lady standing next to me, also shopping for apples didn't even look at that because I had already kept it back. And now if I tell you that it was the same lady who was moving around snatching clothes at ZARA, already tried by other females and who did not even bother looking at the already replaced apple, you would ask me what's my problem. And to that I would say, Hold On!!

Brands attract us. Bigger the better. Higher the price, higher is our desirability level. Higher the desirability quotient of the brand/product, higher is our desirability factor for that same brand/product. With limitless possibilities of brands/products, we always look for something that is appealing, attractive, glitzy or glam (whatever works for you), only in my possession and hard to be imitated. Brands like Lee, Spykar, Numero Uno, Levis', Tresmode, Paparika, Tata, Maruti help solve the purpose but all of us love investing in an LBD by Armani or a Louis Vuitton bag or a Tiffany ring or an S-class Mercedes Benz. All in an attempt to look good, feel good, and make others feel good about us (if it works that ways).

All of this was not an attempt to give tips on shopping nor am I an expert in the shopping lists of females. A lot of raised eyebrows and frowns are bound to come my way when I say what I am about to say.

Men like brands make us feel good about ourselves. A little complementing here and there, the small acts of chivalry, dinner dates and romantic Sunday lunches are bound to sweep most females off their feet. Just like shopping induces elation, men do the same. Some are always in stock and some choose to go off the shelf as soon as they are launched in the market. Some like a Louis Vuitton are high valued and priced high, whereas some like an Esbeda bag are not everyone's cuppa tea. We all at some point in time have invested in dresses and shoes thinking we would get to wear them some day. We invest our time and emotions in men thinking it might work some day. But just like the dress never fits and the shoes crack open, men too either crack you down or you find a brand that suits your needs better.

Some men are like the flesh and blood equivalent of a DKNY dress.You know it’s not your style, but it’s right there, so you try it on anyway. While a man well suited to your needs is like a Prada bag. He is an investment which you love to flaunt, love to carry around and love to love. It might not go well with all your dresses but who cares? It's after all a Prada which not everyone can boast of.

(P.S: Year after year all the women are only in search of the two L's - Labels and love !! .)

Business Environment !!

For an organization to grow, the CEO of the company has to necessarily focus on four aspects of a business: Marketing, Finance, Human Resource, Operations & IT. Over-analyzing one aspect and undermining the other aspect usually makes the company go for a toss. With an over estimation of its own success, the company falters at the underlining principle on which all businesses work: "Profit Maximization." Though most companies in such situations follow a turnaround strategy, it might or might not work for all the businesses.
Its like a system crash, you know you need to reboot but sometimes you need to back up and invest in a new system.

Just like any business would have its vision statement, the vision for our own life is to be happy and scatter happiness to close to us. A perfect balancing act, though tough, is not impossible to maintain. Each aspect of the business has to be given due share of importance for it to leverage on the other. When parents, like venture capitalists invest in us, they hope that the business that is us ends up becoming a profit making entity. Their support to us is a source of funding which is low risk and offers maximum returns. When the business is new to the market, it is usually not very cautious about the people it recruits for its operations. It relies on the expertise that it has gained till date and the qualifications of the people who appear for the recruitment, which at this stage is not a very tough process. A few people come with an emotional baggage or a vision which is in tune with ours, a few come up with a lot of enthusiasm and zeal to take the relationship to next level which usually fades away, a few list down false qualifications in order to win our trust and then later let us down, a few of them come through referrals and the other few appear for the interview because they have nowhere else to go.

The recruitment process is a very strong brand building exercise for an organization. For now, it will be known to the world by the choice of its employees. Some willing to put in all the effort required to keep the operations up and going, a few would resign midway because of the pressure of handling the problems of the organization and the job simultaneously does not attract them, a few will always look for better opportunities and there would be a few who would secretly hope for the company to go down. It is now that the organization realizes its potential and after a few & frequent turbulent times, what is it that has helped the company still maintain a foothold in the market. This is when the recruitment process gets tougher. And it is at this stage that a few brands choose to fade away. It is also at this time that the company learns how much to invest in its employees and whether the investment should be in terms of functional benefits or emotional benefits.

IT is the backbone of any organization. For the functions of an organization to run smoothly without disruption, it is important that the organization invests in a good IT system but should also not forget that it is the person who runs the technology and not vice-versa. Sometimes, in an attempt to be technologically advanced, we become so dependent on the systems that it becomes difficult to function without its presence. In our lives also, there are people who would come as viruses that they would do nothing but corrupt the system and lead it to crash. Just like the company invests in a sophisticated anti virus, we all need that one best friend who helps us get back on track, functioning. One cannot repair a system that is destroyed but for a system that crashes, one can always format and reboot. Difficult but not impossible.

For a company to have a strong presence in the market, it is imperative that it does an internal and external environment analysis. One has to be aware of its own strengths and weaknesses to have a head start on the opportunities and threats that the company faces. Investors do not usually invest in companies which have volatile stocks. An emotionally disturbed person is oh-so unattractive and will rarely find takers. Indulgence in CSR and PR activities does get an organization laurels. But none of these should be a hindrance for an organization for the fulfillment of its primary motive of 'Profit Maximization.' Because no business exists for charity and no person lives for social service.

Organizations who do well are a result of a lot of hard work, dedication and sincerity by its owner. There are times when one needs to take tough decisions and sell off a non profit making unit and there would also be times when one would need to overlook another organization operating in the industry and take it over. Investments should be made after a lot of analysis and its always advisable to gather support from investors who would like to invest for a longer duration of time.

A very famous quote by Donald Trump says, "In business, I’ve discovered that my purpose is to do my best to my utmost ability every day. That’s my standard. I learned early in my life that I had high standards."

(P.S: The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.)
(Akhil, Thanks for helping me reboot sooner !! )

A Wishing Well !!

Another year, a new start, a new beginning, a new life (supposedly), handful of changes (good ones, fingers crossed), end of sorrows, a time to rejoice and a time for resolutions. This was just a quick glance at a few things that our heart desires with the passage of an year. I wish, I wish and I wish some more.

People like me, people like you and the ones who I did not include in the two lists wait for an entire year to start all over again, to give a new direction to our so called monotonous lives, to start living a life which they have dreamt of, to get off and get moving. A few like me would always resolve to shed off those extra kilos and restrain from shopping binges and a few like you would resolve to leave your jobs and move to better ones, tell that one person how much he/she means to him/her, the other few would resolve to spend some more quality time with their families, travel more, read more, get married, save more, work hard, give up smoking and drinking and a lot of other things that they failed to accomplish during the last year.

That gets me to thinking and asking the one question that we never want to answer. What has changed overnight? Except for the fact that we all get drunk on the last day of the year and resolve never to drink again. Except for the fact that we come home late in the night with parents sleeping and resolve to spend more quality time with them, but from tomorrow. Except for the fact we all party till the wee hours of morning and get our credit cards go crazy and resolve to save more from the very next day. Except for the fact that we just lied to someone about our where-abouts in an attempt to avoid them and we resolve to tell someone else how much he/she means to us, so that by the time this year ends, we would resolve to never lie again. Except for the fact that nothing except the day, the date and the year on the calendar has changed.

If you would not do it today, you will never do it tomorrow or ever. How can one lie today and resolve not to lie tomorrow? How can one eat a packet full of chips tonight and resolve to give up eating them tomorrow morning (12 in the midnight to be precise). How can one pretend to be incapable of thinking today and start to think the very next morning? How can one not live today or now and plans on living the very next day or for moment?

Weaving a dream world is what we humans are capable of. Fulfillment of those dreams rests either in the hands of God/fate or someone with a magical wand who will make things happen for us. Its only this realization in humans; the presence of a magical wand, the hand of an angel which stops them from doing all they can, from wishing all they want to and making them come true for as many times as possible.

With endless possibilities of reaching the shore, a sailor chooses but one way; to flow with the direction of the wind. Fate, a four letter word, a word very close to our hearts, a word we never cease to give up on, a word we rests our lives on, a word which has more meaning than life itself, a word which is hard for us to term it as 'just a word.'

An advent of new year, the beginning of a new calendar does not change anything but the dates on the sheets of thick paper. But waking up on the first day of the new year does make us realise that we need to make our lives better. I am again not an advocate on how to start your day today. All I know is that waking up each morning should be a motivation enough for us to make each day, each hour, each minute and each moment of our life count.

Life is an adventure. Some plan to take on it today and some of us wait for an entire year for the adventure to begin.
I would like to quote Samuel Johnson here. Life affords no higher pleasure than that of surmounting difficulties, passing from one step of success to another, forming new wishes and seeing them gratified.

(P.S: You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know!!)