Perfectly Essential !!!

Lying in our bed, making near perfect scenarios in life is something that all of us love to do. Thinking through the past, embracing our present and priming ourselves to clinch our 'magical and perfect' future. In an era, where we all are living an exhaustive life, working not so passionately in jobs most of us love to hate (however perfect that may be), waiting in vain for the weekend to arrive, drowing ourselves in alcohol and musical nights and waking up the next morning with a gloomy face all over again.

What is it with us that we love to strive for the perfect boss, perfect outfit, perfect meal, perfect weekend, perfect friend, perfect spouse, perfect relationships, perfectly made up faces, perfect work life, perfect personal life: In short 'A Perfectly Perfect Life.'

We all today work like machines, with alarm clocks waking us up early morning, followed by a hasty shower, festinating through our breakfast, driving our way through a maddening traffic in an attempt to reach the most imperfect place where we work to accomplish the most perfectly imagined life. If all this wasn't enough, we all have that awesome habit of nit-picking and cribbing about almost everything that begins the very minute we wake up and goes on till the time our brain does not order us to sleep.

High cholestrol, high blood pressure, strokes, anxiety disorders have become commoners amongst all of us. The word that for me sums this up, is STRESS!! Un-objective, undefined and often personal, it is that single factor that wraps around human nature like a frightening charm. Are we genetically inclined towards being so stressed? In an attempt to make everything look perfect, aren't we all giving up on the small and important things in life which bring to us more happiness amongst others.

I am sure almost all of us have people around us who constantly talk about the negative aspects of life. Life could be this and life could be that, her life is perfect, mine is not even close to it, if only I had a job like hers, if only I was married by this age, if only I was dating this guy, if only I could be 5 kgs lighter, if only I had that outfit, if only I had that much money, if only I owned that car, if only I knew my purpose of existence, if only my friends and family would understand me, if only I could go to this place.....phewww!! Looks like the purpose of the existence of this person is endless nagging. Or wait, don't we all do this at one point in time or the other!!

Rather than working towards and attempting to make our imperfect life perfect, we make our perfect life imperfect by such complaining. Each magazine or newspaper you pick up, has atleast one article which teaches us in numerous possible manner the means and ways to deal with stress. I wish I knew how to deal with it myself.

Commit to yourself, take interest in things you enjoy, steer clear of people who send out negative vibes, trust your instinct and not people's, take out that guy/girl you have been in awe of, exercise daily no matter what (a 30 minute walk can do wonders), stop comparing your life to others, love your job (after all it pays all your EMI's), go get a chocolate/seaweed spa done at your local salon, go shopping (do not come back empty handed to avoid being stressed out), talk to random people (you never know who you end up meeting), donate (trust me this works), go on a vacation with your loved ones, read a book, watch a movie, cook, get a dog.....and the list goes on. Choose what you believe in and that will anyways keep you happy.

My dad once told me that one should not look back on life and think 'I wish I had given this a chance.' Go give it a shot because if you don't, you will never know how it feels. A lot of people may say its easier said than done but what I know is that most of the times we create our own reasons for happiness. Stay ahead and keep smiling, you never know who falls in love with it.

People throw away what they could have by insisting on perfection, which they cannot have, and looking for it where they will never find it. The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

Someone once said, "Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it !!"

(P.S: Dear B, if you hadn't done what you'd done, I would never have become wise enough to take the right decision. A big hug to you!!)

Memoirs Of Adoration !!!

Ever wondered what relationships are all about and how much of an effect do they have on us?? We all want to live in that close knit, bonded circle of friends and family where we feel safe, where we can be ourselves, where we are loved, where we feel connected, where we laugh, where we hurt each other but never let go.

In a pretentious world where at one point in time we all get tired of faking superficial relationships, we definitely miss the ones who cared about us. It's on a daily basis that I hear people talking about letting go, moving on and it's over. But do we really get over the ones who had once been, if not the reason for our existence but the reason for happiness in our lives while we existed. Easier said than done !!

How can one let go of the laughs you shared, the tears you wiped off from each others' eyes, the yelling you did to show that you care, the time you spent together to show that you belonged together, the hours spent talking, the long walks taken, the miles covered, the chocolates shared together, the nights spent thinking about each other, the mornings spent waking each other up, holding hands to jus' be there, caring and sharing each living moment!! How can one forget or erase the memories you made together??

Every day I come across at least one prson who posts a status that talks about moving on, I talk to atleast one person who thinks letting go is the essence of future, I argue with atleast one person daily that getting over is a phrase that sounds good but how do you get over your own reason for happiness? Doesn't that mean that you are giving up on your own happiness just in a quest of getting over???

I have always been perplexed by this whole idea of past and future. People say you can erase the memories of your past from the life you have lived for the life you want to live. I say how can you forget your childhood and those growing up years which taught you how to walk? Would we ever be able to forget what we have learned in our lives? I am often told that when your past has been cruel and rough, it becomes easy to forget it. I say when it has been bitter, it is more difficult to repress it. Take out a moment and think of that one instance when you were scolded by your parent (s). I am very sure we all can recall atleast 3-4 of them. People also say that those bitter moments are the defining moments of a person's life. I then say if those were the defining moments of your life, doesn't it become the cradle of your life???

We all come across people who leave imprints on our minds, in our hearts and on us. They would make you cry, would make you laugh even more, care for you more than they would care about themselves, love you like no one would have ever loved you before, hurt you but will still hold you close, lie to you but only if that would be for your sake, cry for you and would suffocate you with their love. These are the people who should never let go off in your life. Because once you let go of them, they aren't coming back and what you are left with are memories that wouldn't make you laugh.

I, here, will share a quote very close to my heart:
Memory can glean, but can never renew. It brings us joys faint as is the perfume of the flowers, faded and dried, of the summer that is gone.

(P.S: I am a miser of my memories of you and will not spend them!!)



 

To Say Or Not To Say !!!

Most people who are into relationships would swear on being all truthful to their partners. Never hiding a fact, sharing their fantasies, giving a low down on their splendid lives, basically sharing absolutely everything and anything or making them believe that they share everything. That gets me to thinking how much is too much in relationships? Do you 'tell-all' in a relationship?

Most men would often tell their girlfriend/wife to share their most intimate secrets with them, which in turn would give them a sneak peek into their world. True or untrue, reality or fantasy: they seem to want to know it all. Going nude for yourself is one thing but baring it all even to your partner, another. How many men are willing to share the wild dreams/fantasies of their better halves? How much are we willing to let our guard down to a person we are so madly in love with? Is it better to hide our emotions and lead a make belief life? Is it advisable to keep revitalizing the relationship with pretentious and oh-so non existent attitude of ours?

Most men live in a make belief world. A make belief world that they themselves and we create for them. A world where everything seems to run smooth. A world where we run over our true selves to make them happy. A world where lies and deception win over sincerity. A world which is stranger than fiction itself!!

Physical intimacy forms a major part of any relationship, any normal relationship. Most of us would have at one point in time or the other fantasized about other men and a lot of men about other women. But does that mean that we do not love our partners? Is it the social dogma that stops us from sharing our most exclusive secrets with our partners? Or is it the fear of being judged and labelled?

A man of discernment would know the difference between right and wrong, reality and fantasy. But not always. Though we all want to be ourselves with people we love, what happens when it comes to sharing our darkest secrets and desires? Though we want them to laugh over our silly notions, what happens when the bouts of laughter turn into your worst nightmares? Though we want them to have a sneak peek into our lives, what happens when we are rejected and ejected from their lives after that?

Most men would want us to tell-all in a relationship. Most women would differ on that. There are things that are better left unsaid than unleash the devilish side of yours which never seem to go down with men well enough. We all want to revel in the closeness of our relationships and hiding that trifling side of our diabolic/wicked life does not seem like a lot to offer up for the one we love. Because no one really said we have to give up on that. For that we all have our 2 A.M girlfriends!!

Someone once rightly said,"Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living and if they are of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies."

(P.S: Fantasies are substitutes for unpleasant reality and not the present pleasant life!!)

Pyaar Ka Sahi Panchnama !!!

Jus' today morning, a colleague of mine who is slated to get married soon was talking to another male friend of his about the number of likes he got on a Facebook Status. The status said, " All girls are devils and my wife is the queen of all." What laugh you guys had on that!!
Another guy who is not slated to get married and does not even have a girlfriend has his own understanding of the female sodality. All females are alike. They are downright sweet in the beginning and after a while you get to see their true side (read devilish side).

A recent movie augmented this side of the male species. Everyone attributes the generalisation of the females to that one movie. The movie not only showcases the females in distaste but has stooped down to the level of showing all the females in a similar light.
Get over it Guys!! It was just a MOVIE!!!

You call, we answer and when we tell you we are busy, you throw us questions like: Really? (we can't be busy or what), why? (because I work too), what are you doing? (gossiping duh!!), when will you be free? (if you don't know then how am I supposed to), shall I call back in an hour? (how can I answer that right now). But ofcourse when we call you, you, first, are busy, we arent supposed to ask you 'when will you be free?' or if you had your lunch because that means we are being clingy. But guess what we call because we care.

You guys go to the market and enter one shop and buy everything you want. Don't you understand that you guys only wear t-shirts-jeans or shirts-jeans/trousers!! And one more thing, you know why do we spend so much time at the shopping malls because you certainly wouldn't like us dressed in a tee and jeans all the time. You like us dressed in skirts, shorts, capris, dresses, halters, spaghettis and much more. Shopping for all this requires time. You have standard sizes in the clothing you buy. Guess what, we don't!!

You know why do we mix and match stuff that you think is girly because again we care. Care about having your mates come over. Care about the way our rooms look like. Care about cleanliness. Care about you having to live in tasteful and organized environment. We do not do it only for ourselves.

You hate it when we ask you to cancel your plans with your guy friends but again guess what?? Our plans of going out with you have to be in sync with your plans because obviously us going out anywhere doesnt really have to be more than a shopping excursion or a gossiping session. But by the way, are yours about business dealings and new ventures that you plan to carry out in future??? And we thought it's about guzzling beers, listening to hard rock and gaping at leggy lasses!!! Sorry about that!!

We remember everything you say when we fight and drag that incident everywhere. Only if you wouldn't shut your mouth, ears,eyes and the room while talking about it the very first time we wouldn't do that. Solve the problem when it first arises.

You hate it when we talk about other guys. So what if he is worth the praise? So what if he deserves it? He can't be better than you. But we love it when you praise the other girls, adore you when you go on and on about your exes and damn we worship you when you fixate your eyes on a girl's cleavage and her worked out and shapely legs.

You hate it when we spend so much of time getting dressed. So why don't you date someone who can't spell perfume, who doesnt trim her hair, doesnt spend hours in the salon getting herself waxed to look all appealing to you, doesnt go through the painful threading sessions, has hands and feet that would perfectly depict life in a 'jungle', works full time, and yes who can still look attractive like that!! Why do you want us dressed up nicely and impeccably when it comes to meeting your friends and family? Why can't you take us in our trackpants and a tee? Trust me, we love that too!!

Ohh yeah, you hate tears, our tears to be precise. We hate it too. You can't see us crying but we have to go through the tortorous hours of consoling you and listening to you going on and on about your worthless and two faced boss. But we still do it because as I said we care about you.

Yes, we are hopelessly romantic and expect you to show some concern when it comes to matters of the heart. You do not like us playing mind games with you. We don't either. We spend time and energy in a relationship not because tomorrow you come to us and tell us that you have started liking someone else. You guys are afraid of commiting. Well, in that case why don't you learn to live on your own? Why do you still want a chick in your life?

Girls are a waste of time and money because 'sab ek jaisi hoti hain.'

Well you guys were kind enough to generalise the female fraternity. Lemme be cruel and let you know that all of us, the generalised females, do not universalize men. We still have belief in a lot of you and yes not only exceptions are always there but yes we do believe in happy endings.

Woman was taken out of man; not out of his head to top him, nor out of his feet to be trampled underfoot; but out of his side to be equal to him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.

(P.S: I still love my favorite sex so it's a truce!!!)

That Doesn't Impress Me Much !!!

Let's start this one by looking around us. Across the desk, cubicle, room, department, city, state, country and even the farthest end. Look around! We all will find people, known or unknown to us, liked or disliked by us, loved or hated (too strong) by us, adored or pampered by us, some who we love to care about and a few with whom we want to share a part of us, plenty to hang out with, few we love to love and few we love to cry with, and fewer who are a part of us!!!

How did we meet these people? Destiny? Fate? Luck? Karma? Kismat? Circumstances? Or mere good fortune? Whatever it was, it sure leaves us with a lot of memories, a few good ones and a fewer bad ones, some we love to cherish, some we try to forget, plenty of them make us cry and a handful of them love to make us cry and happy at the same time. But do we ever realise what is common amongst all the people who we meet in our entire lifetime? A few of us do and a few of us just cherish having those people in our lives.

Just like you all, I too have met a lot of people in my delightful and difficult journey of life. The commonality amongst all of them: they never ceased to leave the First Impressions. All of them came with them, not leaving even a single one out, giving my twisted mind no time for repose. Some were charming, some were total jerks, a few of them were just too right and the other few just too wrong, rare ones who I love to love, plenty of them who never leave my side, a negligible amount of them bring out the murderous side in me and a sgnificant number of them form a part of my being.

Amongst those people who I cherish having in my life, there is a friend of mine who I hated on the first sight. He looked like a bandit from 'Aaj ka gundaraaj' movie, wearing a black thread around his neck, a thick bracelet on his left wrist and dressed in clothes which would even give 'The Gangster' a run for his money. I just hated him. That's the thing about first impressions. We either hate them or love them, there is no midway. And now?? He has not only been there for me but I can blindly trust him. He is the sweetest friend who I will always love to have in my life.

With each person who is a part of our life, we all love to play our roles too well with them and the best part is that at most times we get away with them. Most people who I love to call my friends or who I can rely on or who have the guts to say anything on my face, which I like tolerating are the ones who left a very bad first impression. A guy who I met randomly tops the list. I hated him when he first spoke to me. I mean he did not even know me properly to make that kind of statements. And now I wish I could just go hug him and tell him how much of an unspoken and unasked change he has brought in my life.

Never be afraid to let yourself down because if you do not let yourself down, someone else will. That hurts more. Never loath yourself for leaving a bad first impression (unless ofcourse its an interview) because first impressions usually do not last. Do not play your role too well, let your guard down and for once stop being finicky about saying the right things because it's only when you say the wrong things, you take the first step towards being youself.

Someone once said, "You can create a good impression on yourself by being right, but for creating a good impression on others there's nothing to beat being totally and catastrophically wrong."

(P.S: Sabu, you are one hell of a guy and Mr X, you are the turning and high point in my life !! Thank you both for being there.)

Miscalculated Rejuvenator !!!

Eavesdropping on the conversation, checking in on your partner's tweets/comments every 10 minutes (or maybe less), demanding a daily agenda from him/her, deciding on what he/she should wear, lecturing him/her on his/her possessions, keeping a detailed account of his/her minutes and seconds as well, vying to get his/her attention all the time and getting a detailed list of all his/her calls each month.

Scary?? I am sure it is. But true to the core. A lot of us would have come across such relationships: ours or the ones our friends have. People talk about personal space in a relationship but when we give way to a relation in our life, aren't we ourselves reducing the circumference of the personal space? Though the above mentioned account will make anyone scream for help, but what exactly is it that makes people stoop down (for the lack of better word) to such nightmarish attempts? When does insecurity starts to take place in a relation that should be about commitment and bonding? In an attempt to be possessive, most people end up intensifying the distance between two people, giving way to a lot of unwanted personal space.

I personally know of a person who was in a relationship with a girl for over three years. But when it came to dating other females for fun, it did not seem to bother him at all. From dating for fun to sleeping around, from showering his girlfriend with all possible love to not attending her calls for as long as a week, from being scared of commitment to professing his undying love for all the females that he was dating, from being there all the time to nowhere in sight, INFIDELITY was the name of the game!!

I do not know how many of you have seen Unfaithful but I am sure most us have seen Murder. Even after having a nearly perfect partner, what is it in people that steers them towards merely a looker? Why is the care and affection taken for granted? Why is it that people are always on a lookout for 'something better'?
There will always be a time in a relationship where there will be other things that will take over love, but that is just phase and it needs to be rekindled.

Remember melting into sheer gooey chocolate, being able to hear the blood sing in your veins, having your heart leap into your throat? That lightness of step and body? That thrill? The tingling of your fingernails? All this and more at just the sight of your loved one! When time seems to fly and hours become seconds? When you live for the next meeting, and, when the sound of the loved one's voice feels like drops of rain on parched desert sand.

Infidelity might seem like fun in the beginning but it does take an emotional toll on a person. What with leaving your partner for the other person, which one can't be too sure about. Such a relationship might offer stimulation and excitement but not without a price. The reasons for cheating on a partner might differ but it sure isn't a license to cheat. Romance is deception and we all live in that dream world of deception. Most of us would want that to be intact rather than coming face to face with our worst fears.

A very famous author once said: Never tell a loved one of an infidelity: you would be badly rewarded for your troubles. Although one dislikes being deceived, one likes even less to be undeceived.

(P.S: If you marry a man/woman who cheats on his/her wife/husband, You'll be married to a man/woman who cheats on his/her wife/husband!!)

Virginity: A curse or virtue???

During one of the preliminary rounds for the coveted title of Miss Fresher's, I was asked a question which I am sure most unmarried, Indian girls are still uncomfortable answering: Are you a Virgin and why? Not caring that it was an awesomely cute guy asking me this question, I said 'Dearth of good guys around'. And voila, I was selected for the semi finals though I was surprised at my own answer at that time.


The other day I was again having this conversation with a friend who is slated to get married in December and who is not a virgin. She was scared of her fiance getting to know about it. Happiness on one side and jitters of 'not being a virgin' on one side. I just asked her would it bother you if your fiance is not a virgin? She said it doesnt even bother her in the least. To this, I instantly replied, "what a hypocritic society we are living in?"


In a society of live-ins and open relationships, and a society where the divorce rates are higher than the marriage rates itself, we people are quick to label other people around us. By laying stress on virginity, aren't we devaluing the other women? Its like saying virginity surpasses love and commitment.


Some men may seek virgins because they want them as trophies, or desire purity while for others, it might be just an assurance to their own selves of being the only guy in the girl's life. We all want to and love to imitate westerners when it comes to dressing up or down for that matter, the fake accent that people carry, flaunting the names of cuisines of which one has no knowledge about, advocating liberal values and adapting to the so called modern society. But when it comes to women and their virginity, we are quick to label them as 's***s' who supposedly 'do it' before marriage.


The temptation to take the plunge becomes tough to resist, in a day and age when sex comes naturally in relationships of the heart. And modern day go-getters should have no qualms in accepting that their partners may have gone the whole way in their past affairs. But, despite some broad minded couples, there are still those who relate virginity to morality. For them the bond of the unbroken hymen still scores over the bond of love and commitment.


When you embark on a new journey of life, all that should matter to you is the present and the future. The gruelling task of chastising your non virgin partner should not even form a part of the life that you want to venture out on. Its best to let the bygones be bygones because the past baggage not only ruins the relationships, it also puts an end to the attempt of trying to give meaning to your new relationship. What should matter to you is the loyalty and commitment of the partner towards the current relationship and not making a hue and cry over an already dead relationship. 


Voltaire once said that, "It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue."

(P.S: Oops, did I forget to talk about hymen reconstruction?)

Of Guidance, Love and Affection!!!

From teaching me how to dress up to holding my hands and schooling me on table manners, from running morning marathons to endless basketball practice sessions, from lining up for meals to attending prep sessions, from endless gossiping sessions to being fed the most delicious plum 'chutney' and choco walnut cakes, from 'ragda' sessions to being taken for dinner at the 'gyani's', from teaching me patience to guiding me towards the right path....from being teachers to being my parents. I only wish I could thank you enough for what you have done for me.

I still remember appearing for the written admission test and not clearing it. And I also remember that I was hell bent on getting admitted to Pinegrove School. What I did next even surprised me. A 13 year old teenager who could not even speak english and who used to shiver at the very thought of facing strangers called up the headmaster of the school. And Heady the best part is you remember it. An Army person, strict to the core, personality to die for, command that could put anyone to shame, what was I thinking?

My parents were out of town and that was an opportunity enough for me to sneak out of my room and give this dictator a call. How can he not admit me? He admitted my sister and I am better than my sister in all the aspects or so I was told. It is said that each one of us comes across a life changing moment in our life and for me this was it and I still did not know of it. No one in her sane mind would have done what I did. After introducing myself, and asking him with a straight face as to why I was denied admission to his school, I asked him to cancel my sister's admission and admit me in her place. After all, it was just a matter of an year. If she was that brilliant, she could appear next year and still get admitted. After talking to him for about 20-25 minutes, I kept the phone and went back to my room and slept. My parents called me to their room in the night when they returned. Hell!! They surely got a call from the headmaster and I am so dead.

My boarding number is 94 and I had to join on the 28th of March and my sister was going with me. What??? Whoa!!! I was the happiest person. I mean I convinced him to admit me. Really???

My first day at school was no dream. As I had joined a little late, the results for the first units had been declared and there were some students who had failed. So what?? It happens all the time in day schools. But not here !!!

It was your b'day Naveen and I still remember you walking upto me and offering me that dairy milk chocolate with that coy and dimpled smile of yours. However, what I did not know was that you were about to become my friend for life.

Anyways, the students who failed got a treatment which I would not disclose here which made my dreams of living in a boarding school shatter. Untrue!! This was just the beginning of a wonderful life, My Wonderful Life!!!

Convincing Heady for trips and activities, endless gossiping sessions at Mrs Samiksha's office post dinner, Mr Patial's teachings on spirituality, guys hitting on Miss Babita, Mr Richard's English sessions, Mrs Bhatt's care, Mrs Batta's guavas and apples at her place, Mr Sandeep's IQ and his ability to talk on any topic, Mr Solomon's meetings for the Deodar House and his never ending motivation, Mrs Solomon's english lessons in the evenings, Mrs Dewan's hugging me tight when I was homesick, Mrs Deepika's overnight stays to make us feel comfortable, Mr Ranjan's pulling my ears to teach me Maths, Mr Chauhan's science lectures, everything here had a meaning to it.

From shivering and stammering while speaking in english to attaining first position in debate competitions, from not knowing how to tie my hair to guiding people on hairstyling, from not being able to write my parents a letter on saturdays to writing for papers, from being discouraged most of the time to encouraging my own students, from being incompetent to being told by people that this female can take on any person present in the room, you certainly did wonders to this girl from a small town.

Though my entire life would not be enough to thank you people for making me who I am and standing by my side whenever I have needed you, it feels good to have a day where I can thank you with all my heart and tell you that you are not only the best teachers of the world but are the angels who were sent to me by God to make me realise the importance of people in my life and my life itself.

HAPPY TEACHER's DAY !!!

Truly Yours !!!

A couple of days back, I travelled with this very sweet friend of mine and he always makes me think about one thing or the other. Such is his presence. Even if he speaks a sentence he will speak it with such passion that you start to think about the underlying issue, no matter what.

So what did we speak about???

Recently I had a very small tiff with a self claimed 'good friend' of mine. She loves to call herself an egoistic person. I say do it. But what happens when everyone around you starts to do the same? Coming back to where I started. This tiff with her got me thinking about FRIENDS!! What is it with this word that the world goes on and on about it? What are the boundaries for a friend? Is it OK to be jealous of your own friend? Is it considered 'cool' to brag about your own self all the time giving you pages full of advice? How much of your life do you discuss with your so called friend for life? How much of hurt is tolerable? Is it fine for them to judge you at all times? To be precise, where do you draw the line, if any?

I do not claim to have multitude of friends but I am so proud of the ones who I have. When people are asked, "What gives meaning to your life?" friendship figures at the top of the list. Yet the dynamics of friendship have remained mysterious and unquantifiable. Like romantic love, friendships are thought to "just happen."

I do not know how right I am in saying that the primary factor that binds all the relationships is trust and respect, which is again the toughest to maintain. I asked a couple of my friends to describe what they think about friendship and the answers were not really surprising. For some it meant sharing, caring, everlasting and blessing; for some it meant a part of them, extended family and the likes. Similar emotions flow through a lot of people when they talk about their friends.

For a person like me who is often a failure at keeping up with most friends, reciprocity is the key. I think we all are alike. We all put in efforts where we have the support of the second person and this seems to work in all relationships. If closeness forms the basis of friendship, it stands to reason that your best friend would be someone with whom you enjoy supersized intimacy. I have been friends with a few people for as long as 13 years now and the bond that we share has only grown stronger even if we do not talk for as long as a year. 

We are all aware of or even have in our lives, self proclaimed friends, egoistic friends, friends who have identity crisis, troubled friends, always there with you friends, funny friends, smart friends and all the other variety which I can't lay mind on. And for a lot us they are the siblings that God forgot to gave us. Whatever the case, like all relationships, this too works both sided. It is always better to let go off the 'Toxic' friends rather than letting them be the emotional vampires - draining all your energy reserves.

Just be yourself. It doesn't matter if you are not good enough for someone else.

(P.S: This ones for you Krits, Anni, Sabu, Navtej, Naveen.....You guys are my support system.)

Soo Indianized !!!

Times like last night get me wondering if India really is developing. Except for the slow but steady growth in the GDP and an ever reigning service sector, our still agriculture dependent economy has miles to go before it moves beyond being rated as one of the top economies in the world in terms of PPP (purchasing power parity).

My new neighbours are from Romania and they obviously like to learn a lot of new things about different cultures, one of them being 'Mera Bharat Mahaan'. Post dinner stroll and curious 'foreigners' can get you to think. They love to hold hands (in public) and we Indians give them brazen glares; we look at the 'white' colour as if defying them, pretending to look through their souls; every one trying to dupe them of their money, overcharging the new breed of species; showcasing values and beliefs that end the very second we are in the confines of our home; passing lewd remarks (in hindi) with a smile. That is the dualistic and welcoming nature of My Country !!! 

From a hearty breakfast to a ladened lunch, ending with a sizeable dinner, from Indian guys asking their female friends to set them up with the 'phoren maal' to guys going out of their way to help them showing their 'oh-so-caring' attitude (how come you guys are such jerks around us??), from inviting the sexy white females clad in shorts and spaghettis to numerous parties to hoping to sleep with one of them, my country men/women never seize to surprise anyone.

India is a land of diversity. This is one line that each one us learns when we probably are in the formative years. But what is this diversity all about???

Is it about the spurt of international brands available under one roof or is it about the poverty that is unmistakably evident on the streets of India? Is it about the 'Incredible India' campaign advertising about Kerala or is it about the lack of basic amenities to the natives of the country? Is it about the festivals like Independence Day and Republic Day where people of all religion get together or is it about my countrymen killing each other in God's name? Is it about the provision of education for all or is it about our corrupt and uneducated politicians robbing the nation and it's people of all the possible wealth that they have? Is it about the values presented to us by Karan Johar in his dreamy version of 'My NRI targeted India' or is it about our youngsters losing sight of each value and belief that not only an Indian but every HUMAN should stand for? Is it about the sexuality of Jacqueline Fernandes and the likes being showcased on the BigScreen or is it about the startled expression on the faces of people at the mere mention of Live-in relationships or females drinking vodkas? Is it about the 'babas', each one of them operating a Swiss Bank Account, portraying to work for the development of the mankind or is it about taking steps to guide the youth and nurturing their growth as 'Leaders of Tomorrow'?

Global brands from Coca-Cola and Starbucks to McDonald's and an increasing number of services are uniting nations in a global marketplace that makes each more interdependent upon the others. Is it a mere process or an ideology? I just wish there was something that could unite the people of my nation too; showcasing cultural values that stem from within and not from the last century's beliefs that continue to hold ground without acceptance. 

I will quote Mark Twain and Will Durant here. India is the cradle of human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend and the great grandmother of tradition. In return for conquest, arrogance and spoliation, let us all teach the tolerance and gentleness of a mature mind and a unifying and a pacifying love for all living beings.

(P.S: A nation's culture resides in the hearts and in the souls of its people.)

Weight(y) Insanity !!!

In a nation of sincere chicks obssessed with size zero, it took me quite a while to take the plunge myself.

I wouldn't call myself a fitness freak but yes, I do love to take care of how I look. A lil' weighty issues here 'n' there motivated me to join a fitness centre. A diet chart, a diet diary, weighing myself daily (with fingers crossed), drinking myself crazy (water, dumbo), an hour of jogging/brisk walking and an exercise regime that I do not know if I will be able to follow for long, I would like to call myself obsessed!!!

A fascination with being thin is a defining part of this rapidly fattening age and nothing exemplifies it better than the recent tumult in fashion and the media over the size zero physique.

I have always been told that natural is beautiful. I used to agree with this.....but not anymore. Though I still do not advocate size zero, I do not mind confessing that my preoccupation with my body is driving me crazy.

There's another friend of mine who also happens to share my feelings. An increase of about 2kgs on the weighing scale left her depressed. She was sad and sulking and kept a sullen face throughout. It was in her that I saw my fixation with my non troubling weight. What happened to her and me, happens to everyone arounds us. Delusion of perfection!!!

One minute debating whether to have a Belgian dark chocolate ice-cream or a sprout salad, two minutes chastising yourself for choosing the ice-cream; two minutes contemplating how fattening the sugar and chocolate was!!!

The trouble is once you get into the mode of weight loss and take steps towards lower sizes, you just can't get back. Binging and normal eating habits start seeming like a distant thing. What you eat determines the way people look at you. I would love to get back to my normal food habits but I just can't get myself to do that. From counting calories to drinking 4 litres of water everyday, from working out for 1.5 hours daily to brisk walking for 1 hour, from controlling all the urges to indulge in that one scoop of Hazelnut Crunch to eating salads and 'healthy' food, the weight loss fetish doesnt seem to ward itself off.

The pursuit of thinness is a way of channelling every emotional energy into one ambition; it is a way of losing yourself in one problem - weight loss - and ignoring all the other issues in your life. Almost all women want to be thinner. When a woman feels low, or challenged by life, sometimes any excess flesh feels literally like the embodiment of their perceived weakness. Control around food is seen as a sign of intelligence and restraint. It’s a seductive and all-consuming addiction when the figures on the scales are a simple, if nutty, method of measuring your success as a human being.

As someone once said, the best way to lose weight is to eat all you want of everything you don't like!!!

(P.S.: Don't go out of your weigh to please anyone but yourself!!!)

Summer of '09 !!!

Long walks on the highway (our college pathway is what we used to refer to as a 'highway'), dumb charades (enacting movies as weird as 'Chinese Kamasutra'), relishing idlis in the mess, cooking maggi in hostel, endless seasons of How I Met Your Mother, Sex and the City, Prison Break, FRIENDS to name a few, college bus rides, gorging on sumptous meals @ TDS, buffet @ Indijoes, Ladies Night Out @ Firangi Paani, shopping sprees @ City Center, finishing assignments in the last hour, late night revisions and the best TP: the endless hours of gossiping (for the uninitiated, TP is Time Pass).

How I wish I could relive these days. Undoubtedly, those were the best days of my life...

I still remember the first day of my MBA, clueless (told you, its my fav expression). What exactly was a student interested in VJing and RJing doing here? Hyderabad was not so much on my list of favorite places. Damn It!!! I had never even thought of coming to this place. Delhi is where I belonged. All my friends and family were there. Whatever would happen to my frequent shopping trips with my sister, pampering from everyone, watching late night FIFA matches with my brother, never even bothering to get up and be bothered about anything. Doomed !!!

Each one of us, if not the exact emotions, would have gone through similar kind of emotions atleast once in our lifetime. All of are susceptible to change. Some like me, more and the others, a lil' less. And the best part is, you get through with it. But not without your FRIENDS!!!

You meet them in the mess, looking around for someone to talk to, you meet them in your class while group formation for case presentations, you meet them in the college bus offering you the seat next to them and mildly flirting with you, you meet them in the White House (college canteen is what we called WH), you meet them when you are still new and looking for directions in the widespread college campus, you meet them while you are trying to look for someone to help with your luggage, you meet them while getting ragged, you meet them during the induction process (formally) and you meet them at the Fresher's Party (informally).

We all keep the memories of the time spent with our friends, very close to us. How can one forget walking out on 'The Shane Bond' telling him he has too much of attitude (I am very sure you guys won't be able to forget that incident), eating out at the roadside dhaba, visiting the temple next to the college religiously, sharp 12'o clock cake cutting/ getting dirty ceremonies, all those couples who were the topic of our endless discussions, french classes, volleyball, badminton, working till the wee hours of the morning for presentations, endless assignments, getting drunk and walking in the hostels with straight faces......pheewwww (never knew I had such a good memory) and still getting the time to enjoy your life to the fullest.

Those, indeed, were the best days of my life!!!

I know I can say that when God created the world and all the majestic things in it, when he streaked the heavens with radiant color and the earth with grand mountains and awe-inspiring canyons, when he painted the plains with waving grasses and erected noble forests of towering trees, he outdid it all by creating friends.

A very very close friend of mine gave me a call last night, after 2 long years. Last month, I met this another very very good friend of mine, after 2 years. The one thing common: we bonded at the same level. Nothing seemed different. It was like back to college again for us. Blessed are those who have such wondrous people around them.

You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your FRIENDS!!!

(P.S: We should totally plan a get together, sometime soon. All six of us.)

Illuminated Hatred !!!

Nothing beats the charm of a night stay with your best girl friends. There is so much to talk about, a lot of gossiping, eating maggi with chilled Iced Tea (seriously), you don't have to dress to impress, messed up hair is no big deal and for once you can be yourself.

Wherever, whenever, guys surely form a part of such night outs. And so, this night was no different. A friend of my friend wanted her boyfriend to dump her. Exactly, what has struck your mind, struck mine too. 'Why couldn't she herself dump him?' Simple. To save herself from the brunt of his emotional burst.

Girls are innovative, I must tell you that. Ideas coming from all directions, valid, invalid, some very good ones, some nonsensical ones, some weird, some 'wow', some 'why didn't I ever think about it', and some 'you gotta be kidding me'.

So, what exactly can girls do if they want their boyfriends to run at the very sight of them? Read on to find more on it.

1. Men: Most men are bound to get jealous at the mere mention of the other 'guy' in her girl's life. And what happens if that mere mention becomes a recurrent phenomena? Well, you don't have to be an expert to decipher this.

2. Mobiles: A boon or a bane to our generation, I do not know. Late night phone calls are always a couple's fav time pass (obviously, to know each other better). First, you talk about the guy and then your phone goes all busy for 2 hours past midnight, daily. Poor soul, I so understand what you are going through.

3. Alcohol: A tried and tested formula. How much ever they would hate to agree to this, not all guys like the sight of their girlfriends wasted and sloshed, daily. Girls, take your cue.

4. Girlfriends: Obviously, guys do understand that you need to spend some time with your girlfriends. But do they understand that all of your time is theirs? Girls, go get pedi spas, mani spas, body spas, nail arts and hair spas done with your girlfriends. And yes, do not forget to put your phone on a silent mode.

5. Retail Therapy: Guys love to spend time with their girlfriends and take them out on dates. This time, for once and twice and thrice....take him out shopping. One hour, two hours, three hours, whatever time you have, shop till you drop. Do not forget to do this every weekend.

6. Friends: Again a tried and tested formula. You really love him. Don't you? Then show him. Oh! he is out with his friends. Damn! So what??? Surprise him. Each time he goes out with his friends. You do love to spend some quality time with him.

7. Marry Me: I am not really sure about this one. But I have heard a lot of girls tell me that guys dread this word. So, don't wait. Go and tell him how much you love him and want to be with him, Forever!!! And yeah, you do not stop here. You have to remind him daily about your undying love for him.

8. Warrior: Fight, fight and fight. What for??? Do I really need to explain this one? Over anything sweetheart. From 'you don't understand me' to 'you never have time for me' to 'you can't go out with your friends today' to 'stay with me'. It would not take the guy to decode the tell tale signs of trouble.

9. Love him, call him: You love him and he loves you. Who cares about the world? Call him every hour while he is in his office. What for??? Ask him if he had his breakfast, his morning coffee, his lunch, his tea, ask him about his meetings, his presentations, his colleagues and whatever comes to your mind. Just do not give him a chance to miss you.

10. Kids: This ones the silliest one (I think). Take him out to meet your married friends and who have a kid(s). The one thing that you can't forget to tell is that you love those noisy, irritating and crying babies and you want to have one of those. Soon!!!

11. Flirt: Flirting, sure is an art. And you are the master of the art. You feel flirtatious, act flirtatious. Who's stopping you? Like that guy standing on the bar. Go talk to him.
Do not forget to leave your boyfriend behind, gasping for breath.

Sounds evil??? I know. But girlies, any guy who surpasses the above is a keeper. You would be a fool to let him go. And guys, a girl who makes you go through this drill, is sure a let go. You would be a fool, to still want to be with her.

(P.S: I, sure, am not talking about the ways in which a girl can make a guy like her. That would be like betraying the entire female fraternity.)

The Way You Make Me Feel !!!

Coming from a political and a business background has its own pros and cons. I have been brought up in an environment where ettiquettes, mannerisms, the clothes you put on, your social behavior, all were under constant survelliance. This bringing up could even put the defence personnels to shame. Only, this time it was not my parents doing the moral policing.

Only last night I was talking to this friend of mine who again happened to talk about the moral brigade (and their importance), ready to fire on you the first time they spot you. I, though, have a completely different view point on this one.

Honesty has always paid off well in my case and that too with my parents. I am very sure that all of us lie to our parents at one point or the other. Well, I don't. Though, I would not say I have not been there.
Anyways, why is it that people are so interested in giving you all those moral lectures on what is right and what is not, when you pretty much can handle your life all too well.

Look around you, each one of us will have a set of friends always lecturing us on our social behavior, our likes and dislikes. All of us have our so called relatives (who call themselves our well wishers) always ready to pounce on us. Always interested in knowing the minute details of our social life, the details of our late night phone calls (if you happened to talk to someone late night, with them in vicinity), prying into our daily routine in an attempt to find out that one flaw which would give them enough to go around and gossip.

When our parents do not have any problem with us going out and socialising with our set of friends, or them coming over to our place, their trust in us to make right choices (obviously, giving everything the due consideration), what is it with the moral police always being on the guard?

Here, my friend said that they probably do not understand your view point. They have a different set of values. My answer to this: I do not want them to understand what I think about and I too have a different set of values. All my life, when my parents have trusted me enough to take the right decisions for myself and my family; I too have not let them down. I have always considered it more important to be honest with my folks and the people who matter to me. So, do I really need to bother about the other people who do not have anything else but to act inquisitive all the time and run away at the first sight of trouble that you face?

I know the answer to this one and I strongly feel about it. I am grateful, not only to those with whose views I may agree, but also to those who have expressed more superficial views; for these also contributed something, by developing before me the power of thought.

Bertrand Russell, a very famous British philosopher, once said, We have, in fact, two kinds of morality side by side; one which we preach but do not practice and another which we practice but seldom preach !!!

Temptations Galore!!!

Alarm clock...7 a.m....snooze.....7.15 a.m....snooze....7.30 a.m....snooze....
This road is deserted. "Let's go take a quick look."
Eating chocolates is a sin for a diabetic. "One piece of it would not do any harm."
This guy is so wrong for you. "How do you know? Maybe he is 'the one'."

Why is that 10 minute of sleep most precious?
Why is it that one longs to go towards the road which one knows will only cause trouble?
Why is it that diabetics can't give up on that one thing which they aren't supposed to have?
Why is it that guys who treat girls all wrong are the ones that chicks go crazy over?

Simple...Because any kind of pilferage is addictive and exciting. Not being caught, or doing something that one isn't supposed to, gives us all a 'high'.

Isn't that why Eve ate the forbidden fruit???

I am not much of a TV person, leave alone watching all those soap (sulk) operas and a superabundance of 'Reality Shows' that are up on the LED's/LCD's of every house on the street. Yes, my home is no different. What with a younger brother and a sister whose day start with remote in each of their hands.

My recent elongated visit to my place was enough for me to realise that I live with a TV frenzied family. And I happened to give them company for most of the times (because that's how my family spends quality time). 'Emotional Attyachar' is what caught my attention. Seemed like Mr Hyde hidden in all the characters on the show. Not giving one thought before cheating their partner. Temptations leading them astray!!!

And for once, we all would agree that it is always tempting to break the rules. I have done it myself, quite a few times. Defying the law, flouting traffic rules, drinking yourself senseless, destroying public property, ringing a bell and running away – all these activities seem so exciting when teenage hormones are raging. Unfortunately for some, those hormones never do quite settle down. And Mr Hyde is always waiting just a breath away to emerge and exhibit a vastly different persona and morality from that of Dr Jekyll.

Coming back to cheating, back in college, a classmate of mine cheated on her boyfriend with a guy who I had a crush on. The reason: they were drunk and together. You never know your vulnerabilities unless you are face to face with the temptation. It is then, that it becomes difficult to hold ground.

Tiger Woods, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rajat Gupta, former McKinsey Global MD, Queenie Dhody-Socialite,  IMF Chief Strauss-Kahn, Hrithik Roshan, Ranbir Kapoor all have one thing in common. Thrilling themselves with the illicit!!!

We encounter nays and don’ts at every turn; some imposed by law, some by society, others by those close to us, and yes, some restrictions we impose on ourselves.

And now it seems it's just the forbidden that tempts us to break the monotony of life!!!

Love @ Facebook !!!

A series of likes & online chats, succeeded by late night phone calls, long hours spent thinking about each other, that tinge of happiness running through, a beautiful dimpled smile on the face and a lil' playing hard to get!!!

Welcome to the story of new found love in an era of FACEBOOK...

So...You are tired of all those late night parties, clubbing, saying no to office flings, not really fond of getting hooked on by your friends and you are not attending college anymore where you can be hopeful of dating a person who is ‘your type’ and you do not want to get into that trap of ‘arranged’ marriage which, suddenly has become the new ‘buzz’ word for everyone around you.

A friend of mine, who I happened to meet after a long time, told me that if marriage has to happen for her, it will only happen for love and for nothing else. Not bad I would say!!!

But where do you meet people who are your age and still single???

IDEA!!!
FACEBOOK!!!

You find the guy interesting, well read, speaks well (or so it seems), cute or handsome (whatever works for you), is chivalrous, likes the same kind of music as you do, likes Thai food (awesome), works with an MNC and is still single (what more could you ask for).

You start 'liking' his pics, his status messages, and his wall posts in an attempt to make him notice you (as if he hasn't done that already). Suddenly, FB seems like the place to be. A series of online chatting and flirting with each other and you develop an affinity towards him.

But, what next???

Inside, you are dying (ok, this is too strong a word) to talk to him. How do you tell him that? Maybe, even he is. But how do you know for sure? You want him to ask you for your number and give you a call (because that is how it is supposed to be).

And so it happens....He asks you for your number and that gets you talking. You start liking him all the more. He is so so interesting, more than what you had imagined him to be. So here begins the process of mutual distraction.

There is another friend of mine who is a victim (I think so) of such a romantic relationship. She has never met the guy in person but they really like each other (or so they say). She loves being admired by the guy who also seems to go ga-ga over her. But what happens when you meet the guy? What if he doesn't like you in person? What if you do not have much to talk about then? What if he just liked you as an FB friend? All these what ifs and more seem to question the credibility of the online relationships. 

 I am not saying that all love stories on FB are doomed. I happen to know quite a few of 'happily ever after' ones too. The whole point here is to be happy of who you are and faking doesn't seem to do any good.
Dating might have become hi-tech but the basic rituals remain much the same. I am sure if I found someone that interesting on FB, I would sure want to give it a shot.

Just like always, every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you!!!


(P.S: There are more than 175 million active users on FB...Go discover your virtual wishful thinking)

Human Emotions On Sale !!!

Setting: A 5 star restaurant or CCD/Costa or your home.
Theme: Insane/Awkward Humor
Cuisine: Everything possible
Emotions: Numb
Star Cast: Boy & Girl (All the characters in this article are non fictional and bear some resemblance to a lot of us!!!)

Girl meets boy and his parents and his aunties and uncles, his cousins, his friends (later), almost every one who will be a part of the Band Baaja, if this works out fine. Still clueless??? Typical Indian Arranged Marriage Setting !!!

Not many of us are lucky enough to find the guy/gal of our dreams and if that happens, this is what happens next. Love takes a back seat and the front seat is taken by friends trying to fix us up with dates or lets say prospective brides/grooms, nosy aunties who are more bothered about our age and do not leave any stone unturned in trying to find us a suitable match (more on that a lil' later).

Suddenly, the matrimonial paper on sunday with the major dailies seem to become the best friend of everyone around you. Phones are never left on 'silent' mode (arre somebody might call), mails are checked every hour (Curiosity does get the worst out of you, sometimes), photo studios cash in on every opportunity to make the bride/groom look beautiful/handsome (what would we all do without photoshop), matrimonial sites are always logged in (as if they are finding a partner for themselves) and to top it all, kundli software is downloaded on all laptops/PC's.

What happens when you like a proposal in the classified?
You go mad!! Kundli matched (shukar hai bhagwaan ka, 28 gun milte hain), ladki-ladka both are non- manglik (check), ladki/ladke ki casual pictures bhejiye (oops, why did I spend money on getting my portfolio clicked, never mind, time for some casual pictures-check), ladki gori hai na, ladka any would do (check, double check), height kitni hai ladki/ladke ki ( do you have some stretches in mind that will help increasing the height, anyways-check), papa kya karte hain, mumma, behen, bhai, nani, nana, dadi, dada, bua, uncle- please temme something about everyone (told you insane humour).

Who are we and what world are we living in??? When in love marriages, people do not question the religion, caste, status of the families involved, do people actually turn irrational while dealing with people involved in arranged marriages. And, the youth looks on and accepts what his/her deranged parents are doing!!!

In a world where our present has becme a poor indicator of our future, the idea of arranging marriages continues to hold charm. Whether it is cloaked in tradition as it is in India or in modernity as it is elsewhere, the institution of marriage needs some help. The expanded Indian view of the arranged marriage functions as a facilitated marriage search designed for individuals. Perhaps that is why convented matches from status families will continue to look for decent marriages, caste no bar.

(P.S: Stay tuned for more on Band Baaja. Looks like the season of marriages (arranged) is here to stay!!!)

Catch 22: You'll Be There For Me & Him !!!

That is perfectly fine swthrt. Whatever happened, was a thing in the past (what did I ever do, please tell me that atleast). You do not have to bother yourself with it (it has been bothering me for quiet some time now). And yeah, you do not have to say sorry at all (heights of modesty, you should be the one saying it, B****RD). That is the only thing I am ever asking of you (really???). I still love you (WOW, he still does, so we are not breaking up, yay !!!)

We Will Always Be Friends!!! (tears, tears and some more tears)

Ohh, in case you did not guess till now, this is a guy breaking up with his so called girlfriend, who he still loves but cannot be with her anymore like that. Like a boyfriend, silly. So, he chooses to be a friend, instead (oh my god, how will I ever be able to pay you back for this honor).

Sounds like a regular thing? Nice!! So we all have met such scums in our lives one way or the other. When two people break up, the last words you want to hear are We Can Still Be Friends. How in the world do you expect to be friends when you have shared a life (almost) together. You have seen each other grow, seen them fall down, been there for each other in times of despair, shared the most precious memories together, emotionally connected, disconnected and re-connected. You have seen the best and worst in each other, deep down you know that you are right for each other and for heaven sake, You are 'THE COUPLE'.

Your friends have admired you for so long, wanted to be in your shoes all the time; you are what is a socially enviable couple. But do I care???

What is it in us, that is piled up so high that we, at times, do not care about a person's feelings. The other person is not emotionally dead. And he/she has cared for you for so long. It's not like you started dating yesterday that the memories of all these will wash away the next time you wake up. And the worst part, you still like/love him/her. Then, what is stopping you from being with him/her?

I HAVE CHANGED!!!

That gets me to the question: Can Ex's Be Friends???

Impossible. Though, a lot of you will differ on this, but I, for one, cannot be the emotional support for someone who's left me. Lemme tell you this, it's not easy seeing your ex with someone else. You were suppose to be there. You were there. And, honestly, most people would still want to be there.

In a relationship, there would always be one person, who will move on first and when that happens, the other person is left dreading herself/himself, comparing himself/herself with the new person in his/her life. There is an irresistable desire in all of us to be irresistably desired, and when that object of affection is 'someone' else, hearts and minds are stimulated beyond appreciable levels.

Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it's not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who couldn't give up on them !!!

Dreams Unlimited!!!

A moonlit night, stars shining above your head, beach with white sand all around, glistening water, a wide spread three-course Italian meal served with Cabernet Sauvignon, 'When you say nothing at all' playing in the background and I sit there holding his hand.
Perfect...
This is my dream, maybe a lil' similar to yours or a lot different from what you dream of. But it's mine. And it always will be.

No, I am not fighting on what is mine and what is yours. We all live in this dream world, dreams which are ours and despite all the ups and downs we face in life, a part of us still holds on to those with an innate desire to make them come true...someday.

I remember growing up as a very precious memory of my childhood. I was always the pampered one of all my siblings. Eldest in the family and a girl, I got everything I asked for. Mumma, Papa, Chachu 1, Chachu 2 (yeah, I grew up in a joint family), they all spoilt me to the point where I myself asked them to send me to a boarding school. It became my dream (then) to study in a boarding school. And it came true.

With the passage of years, my dreams kept changing. I had a different dream at every stage of my life. One day I wanted to be a fashion designer, the next day I wanted to be a singer, the third day I wanted to have a super cool (hot) boyfriend, the next I wanted to get married at 20 (thank God, this one did not come true then)....and it went on and on....it still goes on. The one thing common at all stages: I never gave up, never stopped dreaming. Because that is what I had always learnt. That is how I had made most of them come true....Never stop dreaming because one fine day they will and they do come true.

My dad always used to tell me that there is nothing that should hold you back from dreaming, because if you don't dream, it never will be.

Ok, this is not a motivation lecture on 'How to make your dreams come true'. Because, that even I do not know(I wish I did, though).

There is an unseen life that awaits us at the corner. I haven't seen it, nor have you. I, today, dream of telling my dad, once, that how much I love him, telling my brother that I miss being irritated by him, telling him that yes, I would buy you a D&G perfume and a Zara shirt on your birthday and that I miss those late night sneak-outs to have ice-cream and kathi rolls.
I wish I could, but I can't. Even my dad's theory fails here.

You guys go all out today and give your parents a tight hug, take them out for a dinner night out, your husband/wife/gf/bf out for a long drive. Don't be pestered that they call you every 2 hours. And for all those who do not stay with your family, call them and tell them how much they mean to you and that you love them unconditionally.

Embrace it while it lasts because a Sheldon book says "Nothing Lasts Forever."

(P.S: Dear V, this ones all for U, though it made me sad!!!)

Talk to me !!!

A walk with your dog is a sure shot way of attracting attention. More so, if your dog is cute. Doubly so, if the girl is cute. Quadruple it, if the girl is wearing shorts and a tee.
Welcome to a world where legs and cleavage seem to be talking to men. I wonder why they never talk to us. Anyhow, how long can be a walk from one corner of the street to the next corner?

I was standing on the balcony of my friend's house in Delhi when I noticed that it can take 30 minutes to cross the street which otherwise takes just five minutes.
"Hey...that's a cute dog. What breed is it?" Only if, Hutch had not made that pup (pug) so popular, I would have still given him some credit.

 Blue is a vibrant colour for a dog collar but it sure isn't that vibrant. "The colour blue attracts me." That was cheesy and made me smile. What's with guys and their choice of such pick up lines.

This one was the funniest. "I have the exact same dog. It's a female. What a coincidence !!! As if, it was meant to be." How can it be "meant" to be when you just saw that chic and apple (the dog's name).

Fat women, slim women, anorexic women, curvy women, and all those who I couldn't sum up in these, have one thing in common which is surely of interest to our favorite sex, MEN. No brownie points for guessing the obvious: LEGS(though I wouldn't give the benefit of doubt of this to all women) and CLEAVAGE.

Doctors, bosses, hotels, clubs, restaurants, metros, malls. Is there any place where one doesn't find men talking to the assets. I doubt that. Now with Kim Kardashian celebrating Cleavage Day, men have got a more legitimate reason to stare.
A friend of mine walks into her bosses' chamber with folded hands in an attempt to make him talk to her face and not her assets which he doesnt seem to get enough of.

I am sure to get a lot of glares for writing this one; maybe even people gossiping on the choice of my topic for today's article, but who cares!!!

While, I was still writing this, an idea struck me. This ones for my female counterparts. Chicas, go invest in a T-shirt that says: MY FACE IS UP HERE, SHITHEAD!!!
And for all you guys, wear sunglasses when you want to stare!!!

Officially Incorrect !!!

Monday Morning Blues, Tuesday Tantrums, Wednesday Weirdness, Thursday Doomsday, Friday Freakishness, Zestful Saturday, Sluggish Sunday !!!
What was it that I just wrote? Was I deciding the schedule for my next week? If yes, then heaven save me!!!

Now go through this one.
A Bright Monday Morning, Euphoric Tuesday, Florid Wednesday, Thrilling Thursday, Jubilant Friday, Superb Saturday, Exemplary Sunday !!!

What just happened, is no change of schedule. So??? I just started dating a COLLEAGUE (not me silly!!).
Errr, ummm, ahhh, Ouch !!! I mean WOW !!! But really???
That is what my reaction was when a friend of mine told this to me last night during an FB chat session.

I am sure we all have had our share of crushes in offices. Be it our cute and oh-so-young boss,or the dimpled guy who sits next to my(or your) cabin, or the guy straight out of Mills and Boons who just can't be a VP (he's so young) or the guy next door who offers you a lift daily.
Office romances are fun. But are they really FUN???

Most women would agree because of the proximity they get to share with their man of dreams in an environment which is like a dream come true with him. Suddenly, the place is fun to work at. Everything turns out to be perfect and rosy. You go back home together, you drive to the office together, you have breakfast together and lunch and drinks and dinner and sleep, all together. That is some life, I must say.

A serious overdose of the man of your dreams !!!

But what happens when you break up? The place feels like hell. You suddenly start avoiding the elevator because he/she was in it, lunching will be at a table at the far away corner of the room where you can't see him/her, meetings will be spent staring at him/her, thinking what was it that I saw in that loser. Suddenly all you start thinking is "how to get back at your ex" and again the search for the prey begins in an attempt to make your ex feel horrible. But all this and more, in an attempt to make him/her jealous and get back together.

But is this all 'worth it'? I personally do not advocate office romances. When a fling goes bad, there is bound to be ill feelings and hostility. I mean just imagine losing your job, willfully or not. The possible consequences here are not just the loss of the person you're ga-ga over. It's fun to fall in love, but remember that you've worked too hard to jeopardize your work reputation by being distracted, missing deadlines and letting your projects suffer.

Morose Monday, Dejected Tuesday, Cheerless Wednesday, Dysphoric Thursday, Joyless Friday, Sombre Saturday and a Wretched Sunday !!!
Sounds like a Ramsay Brothers' movie to me !!!

I wish I could tell my friend to give up on this girl that he is so in awe of. But like someone once said, its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

(P.S: Dear S, I guess you should lookout for another company that you've been planning for so long.)

Of Vodkas and Men !!!

Think alcohol, think women and then think men thinking of these two together.
I just managed to state the best combination ever. My recent tryst with men and alcohol, though not in that order, was pretty much fun to deal with.
Indian men have a thing for women drinking alcohol. I wouldn't be wrong if I say that men think women who drink are easy.

A night at one of the best clubs in town will have me laughing for years to come. So, we walk upto the bar and order LIIT's for ourselves. This guy dressed in white shirt and denims gives us those looks which any girl would decrypt in just a couple of seconds. Two drinks down and he still has this vivid gaze on us. An ignorant fool that he was, what he did next had my friend fuming in anger. This guy had the audacity to pick up my cell and start keying in his number to give himself a "missed call". Dude, if I was interested in you, I would have surely picked up all the signs that you were throwing at me from over the rooftops, but I wasn't.

"Can I buy you both drinks?" Why? Can't we buy them ourselves or you just need to prove that buying a drink is the easiest way to start a chit chat with the girl? Maybe, you need to get your facts right. Those are females in the high school or the pretty babes still in the process of graduating and coming to terms that life is such a freedom in college and there would be a horde of guys willing to take them out on dates. But we aren't high school prom night queens. So U mustn't.

Wow, we did not know that you could dance to Pink Floyd's number. You don't really have to showcase your moves to impress us. Still unimpressed, this third guy comes and stands next to us at the bar. And he stands and stands and stands looking in one direction, not even blinking. Never mind, we wouldn't stand there any more. Ciao.

This next one wanted to foot our bill, wanting to treat us to tequilla shots. He was having his 16th one. Commendable. Was that suppose to throw us offguard? Well, it did not. Showtime. "Can I drop you back home? I am waiting for you outside." Well, in that case, keep waiting morone.

Girls who drink are not sleazy for one and you don't really have to hit on them with the cheesiest pick up lines to get them talking. A well behaved demeanour is all what it takes to initiate a tete-a-tete.

This night, sure left me a lil' higher than ever. What with all the bonding happening at one place. Delhi sure has its own way of fascinating me every time we run into each other.

Cheers to singledom and the swooning (by the opposite sex) that comes with it!!!

Pursuit of fun !!!

What if the gossiping during an impeccable dinner at your favourite place turns out to be the most exciting conversations that you have had in a long time? For me, it was as delectable as a blueberry cheesecake !!

Whispering sweet nothings into his ears, dressed in a white kimono top with a pair of black jeans and white stilettos, hair tied up high in a ponytail, she could, any day, give a 20-something, a run for her money. What part of me screamed 'WOW', even I didn't realize it. Romance was in the air for the both of them. Not more than 25, the guy was all admiration for the lady.

'Cougar Dating'. Interrupted in my thoughts, I looked speechless (my favorite expression). Yeah, that's what my friend told me. A part of me wanted to sit there all night long and observe the lady. What is it in the older women that men are so drawn towards them? I mean, what does that leave us with? Older men???

Is it the confidence, comfort level, maturity, level headedness, independence, understanding, less complications or no strings attached? My friend said that most men reach their sexual peaks between the age of 25-35 years, whereas, for most women, the age lies between 35-45. "Women your age are needy." What kind of statement was that???

But, if I think of it calmly, he had a point. Men, unlike women, do not look for stability all the time. What they want is a female counterpart, who they can hang out with, without any strings attached. Here's where females my age take a back seat. How many of us are willing to date without any form of commitment. We, females, have an amazing visionary capacity and our imagination runs wild when it comes to dating men.

"When we can have friends who are older to us, then what is wrong with having a grilfriend who's double my age." To this, I asked, what happens when it comes to settling down? I was amused by the reply I got for this one. "Do you think guys think this far?" Yeah right, who was I kidding?

It all sounds too good to be true. A charmed circle of adoring men who crave older, glamorous females – and beautiful women who want to be admired and appreciated. Age is a number, not a barrier. But, how many couples are we talking about here? This reversal of the stereotype may be an important cultural shift or just a loopy-love deviation from the norm. Will these ripples turn into seismic waves in the 21st century?

Well, we definitely have to wait and watch out for this one. The important thing is the quality of what you share together. Love is meant to conquer all, isn’t it?

Bearish v/s Bullish !!!

Now, there's a friend of mine, who enjoys to a great deal, a good conversation. I say, who wouldn't? But here's the hitch, she expects everyone to enjoy that conversation, even if she's doing most of the talking. I say, who would?

How often is it that we realise the importance of good communication? We all want to do our share of talking and 'Lemme talk' talking and 'can't get over myself' talking and if that wasn't enough some 'preaching' talking. And then they expect us to say, Bring it on !!!

A good conversation is like a Bullish market, full of optimism, confidence and progressive expectations. Speculating about the other person's interests keeps the mind consistently working towards their changing levels of fascination towards us. And just like the bull, a bullish conversation provides you with a psychological thrust.

Who enjoys bearish conversation??? One which cannot self sustain, leave alone capturing the attention of others. Timing, here is the key point, which is often missed, leaving the other person gasping for breath.

After his 21st attempt at asking me out, I decided to give this guy one chance to take me out for lunch. Enjoying my orgasmic Pasta Arrabiata , I had already given this guy a miss. But sometimes, the most random of conversations can turn out to be Bullish. With his diversified portfolio of interests and experiences, he sure did manage to make a short run profit for himself.

An enticing conversation can open you up to something new and exotic. A rebound from a 'falling knife' situation is difficult but never an impossible task. Give in to your inhibitions and leave that tinge of apprehensiveness home to go all out and enjoy a Bullish conversation.

All perked up !!!

During the chaotic two months of my life, I happened to bump into a lot of my non existent 'relatives' and so called 'friends for life'. Heaven save me. I had absof**kinglutely no clue about them. Yes, my dad did mention them at times but I wondered if they were for real.

What happens when you lose the four most important people in your life to fate? Chaos !!!
But hold on, who's bothered about that. Not the people I mentioned above. They had more important things to talk about like, wait....too quick.

"Arre, itni badi ho gayi hai tu to. Ye Narender di kudi hai?" Ohh yeah, finally you realised. Thank You !!! Yes, I am my father's daughter. Well, if that wasn't enough, she had more important issues in her life like my age, my marriage, my sister (kinni soni hai !) and a lot of other bulls****ing issues which I couldn't help but ignore.
And here comes the part I (un)relished the most, My EX (Best friend Ofcourse). What in the world were you doing there? Ohh yes, my mom is like your mom and my brother, your younger brother and my lil' angelic sister, your closest confidante. So what does that make me? Ruins of your past!!! Give me a break.

If that wasn't enough, my heart goes all out to the person I randomly met. What with an exceptional display of emotions, care and affection, you thought you would win my heart and disappear. If only I was that naive a personality to handle !! But I guess that is what you were taught by Delhi College of Engineering and Charlotte!! No offence though.

There are certain things in your life that are worth gambling for, but you, my above mentioned people are certianly not one of those things. It would be very unfair on my part if I do not convey my special thanks to all the people who stood by me in my tough times.
Kriti, Manomay, Neha, Niharika, Swati, Nishant, Vinit, Navtej, Naveen, Abhishek, Silky, Tejbir, Ajay, Anubhuti, Gautum, Jiwan, Shashank, Rahul, Akanksh and all those who I cannot recall right now. If only, I could thank you enough. Kaustubh, you are one hell of a gentleman.

When real people fall down in life, they get right back up and keep on walking. I certainly am one of them and you (my so called relatives and friends) puhhleeezzz do not ever forget that.

(P.S: Sabu, happy???)

What women want???

During the interval of a movie, which I went to watch today, I happened to have this small conversation with my brother about the rules of dating.
Are there any he asked; to which I replied hell no !!!

But that got me wondering if in reality there are some rules to be followed. My unnamed ex, I remember used to tell me how a girl is suppose to behave on the first date, and on second and then on third and then finally, I asked him if there were any rules to be followed during break up too.

Just like guys, girls too like simple, uncomplicated, well mannered men, and yes you have to be comfortable of who you are. A good sense of humour and chivalry is icing on the cake. Looking good doesnt kill us either. Is it too much to ask? Some men might say yes, but, take a deep breath and think. Don't you scan the females top to bottom when it comes to choosing the 'one'.

While we take numerous sessions at the salons to look all appealing to your eyes, can't guys pretend that they care. Yes, not about us only. But, about themselves too. Not much to ask I guess!!

Yes, we like details. We like chivalry. We look for emotional connect. We cry. We talk, a lot. We try and then we buy even if most of us can speak Prada. We get jealous and yes we criticize other females who you guys gawk at. So what?

For us a relationship is like an investment, which most men fail to understand. We know we all can move on but you don't have to prove your point all the time. We are confused souls but give us some credit for making you happy by doing small things which mean the world to you. Look at us closely, you will find a kid in each one of us waiting to be pampered, loved and taken care of.

Just like 'Carrie' said "Maybe some women aren't supposed to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them."

(P.S: Motu, this ones for you. I will be waiting for my Sub Melt and Chocolate Avalanche)