During one of the preliminary rounds for the coveted title of Miss Fresher's, I was asked a question which I am sure most unmarried, Indian girls are still uncomfortable answering: Are you a Virgin and why? Not caring that it was an awesomely cute guy asking me this question, I said 'Dearth of good guys around'. And voila, I was selected for the semi finals though I was surprised at my own answer at that time.
The other day I was again having this conversation with a friend who is slated to get married in December and who is not a virgin. She was scared of her fiance getting to know about it. Happiness on one side and jitters of 'not being a virgin' on one side. I just asked her would it bother you if your fiance is not a virgin? She said it doesnt even bother her in the least. To this, I instantly replied, "what a hypocritic society we are living in?"
In a society of live-ins and open relationships, and a society where the divorce rates are higher than the marriage rates itself, we people are quick to label other people around us. By laying stress on virginity, aren't we devaluing the other women? Its like saying virginity surpasses love and commitment.
Some men may seek virgins because they want them as trophies, or desire purity while for others, it might be just an assurance to their own selves of being the only guy in the girl's life. We all want to and love to imitate westerners when it comes to dressing up or down for that matter, the fake accent that people carry, flaunting the names of cuisines of which one has no knowledge about, advocating liberal values and adapting to the so called modern society. But when it comes to women and their virginity, we are quick to label them as 's***s' who supposedly 'do it' before marriage.
The temptation to take the plunge becomes tough to resist, in a day and age when sex comes naturally in relationships of the heart. And modern day go-getters should have no qualms in accepting that their partners may have gone the whole way in their past affairs. But, despite some broad minded couples, there are still those who relate virginity to morality. For them the bond of the unbroken hymen still scores over the bond of love and commitment.
When you embark on a new journey of life, all that should matter to you is the present and the future. The gruelling task of chastising your non virgin partner should not even form a part of the life that you want to venture out on. Its best to let the bygones be bygones because the past baggage not only ruins the relationships, it also puts an end to the attempt of trying to give meaning to your new relationship. What should matter to you is the loyalty and commitment of the partner towards the current relationship and not making a hue and cry over an already dead relationship.
Voltaire once said that, "It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue."
(P.S: Oops, did I forget to talk about hymen reconstruction?)
The other day I was again having this conversation with a friend who is slated to get married in December and who is not a virgin. She was scared of her fiance getting to know about it. Happiness on one side and jitters of 'not being a virgin' on one side. I just asked her would it bother you if your fiance is not a virgin? She said it doesnt even bother her in the least. To this, I instantly replied, "what a hypocritic society we are living in?"
In a society of live-ins and open relationships, and a society where the divorce rates are higher than the marriage rates itself, we people are quick to label other people around us. By laying stress on virginity, aren't we devaluing the other women? Its like saying virginity surpasses love and commitment.
Some men may seek virgins because they want them as trophies, or desire purity while for others, it might be just an assurance to their own selves of being the only guy in the girl's life. We all want to and love to imitate westerners when it comes to dressing up or down for that matter, the fake accent that people carry, flaunting the names of cuisines of which one has no knowledge about, advocating liberal values and adapting to the so called modern society. But when it comes to women and their virginity, we are quick to label them as 's***s' who supposedly 'do it' before marriage.
The temptation to take the plunge becomes tough to resist, in a day and age when sex comes naturally in relationships of the heart. And modern day go-getters should have no qualms in accepting that their partners may have gone the whole way in their past affairs. But, despite some broad minded couples, there are still those who relate virginity to morality. For them the bond of the unbroken hymen still scores over the bond of love and commitment.
When you embark on a new journey of life, all that should matter to you is the present and the future. The gruelling task of chastising your non virgin partner should not even form a part of the life that you want to venture out on. Its best to let the bygones be bygones because the past baggage not only ruins the relationships, it also puts an end to the attempt of trying to give meaning to your new relationship. What should matter to you is the loyalty and commitment of the partner towards the current relationship and not making a hue and cry over an already dead relationship.
Voltaire once said that, "It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue."
(P.S: Oops, did I forget to talk about hymen reconstruction?)
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