Friday, August 10, 2012

Single & (Un)Happy !!!

At my age, I don't really find it weird when people come and ask me about my marital status. If I am still a single, they show concern. If I am married, they ask about kids (when am I having one). And if I am seeing someone, they would want to know all possible details about the person and when would our relationship get converted into 'Holy Matrimony.' I don't blame them for asking such questions. Indian society is conditioned like that. And I do not think I will be wrong if I say that the world is conditioned like that.

When it comes to being a single and at an age where most people prefer getting married, being a single seems like a sin in our so called modern society. Why am I single? I do not know. Do I like being a single? I would lie if I said yes. Of course no one likes being single. Am I single by choice? I do not think so. Aren't you bothered about getting married? If marriage brings botheration, then what exactly is the point of getting married. What are you still looking for? Someone who I can wake up next to, smiling. Do I still have so many choices left with most singles, taken? I do not see any problem in that. Do I have a particular type? I am not buying a shampoo. It's a person for heaven sake. Wouldn't I find it difficult adjusting with a person, now? We keep adjusting to situations all our life. This is just a person.

Not only these. I can come up with infinite number of questions that people throw at singles. Being a single is not a crime. And lemme just mention one thing. No one is single by choice. As humans, we all like to be loved and to love. We cannot by any means live in seclusion. We like who we are but we also like what others can make us feel. Singles are not a deprived lot of people who society shows concern for so much that it sometimes get on your nerves.

With friends, relatives, family constantly at a watch guard to find you a suitable match, one is bound to feel the social pressure around. And given our society, where girls are measured on the basis of their weight, age, colour, height and their working status. And guys are measured by their income level, social status (read liquidity), number of siblings (lesser the better), whether living with parents (how would you like if your son disowns you for his wife) and a lot more which makes me detest this whole matrimony 'business' in our country. A single facing all of this along with the stress of the work, is bound to break down.

Yesterday, a friend was very sad because of his single status. He wants to get married, soon. Why? Because, all his friends are married now. Because, his parents want him to. Because, everyone around him talks about marriage. Because, everyone expects him to be married at this age. To which I had only one question. What do you want? To which he had only one answer, which I have heard a lot of people say. I don't know. I just wanna be married.

Marriage, no doubt is between two families. But it's you who will have to run it. Not the friends who tease you in the cafeteria. Not the relatives who show a huge amount of concern now. Not the parents because they would not be there with you forever. And not the neighbours who poke their nose in all your businesses.

Being single doesn't mean that no one wants you. Or no one likes you. Or you have a problem. You don't love a person all at once. You might not like a few things in yourself and would want to change them. You might not like a few things in the other person and would want to change them. Its the one who loves the flawed you who you should give your heart to. Because no matter what other people say, you definitely are beautifully imperfect !!

(P.S: It's tempting to wish for the perfect boss - the perfect parent - or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got.)

1 comment:

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